It’s always fun when folks point me in the direction of enhancement matches I’d never seen, and it’s even better when it’s a pairing you didn’t think could possibly have ever existed. Which is the case in today’s SQUASH of the Week! Seriously, on what planet would you ever conceive of a team comprised of Brady Boone and…
Outback Jack and the “Lethal Weapon” Steve Blackman???!!!! Thine eyes deceive thee not! I had no idea I lived in a timeline in which this could have ever happened, but I have to say I really think Blackman could have main evented multiple WrestleManias had he kept “Tie Me Kangaroo Down” as his theme music.
My man Bobby “The Brain” Heenan brings his men the Islanders to the ring and he is in a foul mood. And honestly who can blame him? How dare that humanoid try to pat Bobby? That geek deserved a slap!
Now you may look at this and think waitaminute…those poor Islanders are outnumbered! The Brain quickly dispels the notion that this is going to be a handicap match by telling us he now has a THIRD Islander. And that would be none other than…
…”High Chief” Afi! Are you kidding me? Wish Jimmy Snuka was for at least one moment in time part of the legendary Heenan Family? I’ll take “WWF events I don’t remember for $1,000 please.”
And what an impact he makes, immediately being chased out of the ring at the mere presence of Outback Jack. Seems about right.
And then just to make things even weirder, Tama gets in and is immediately pummeled by Outback Jack who tags in Steve Blackman. Let me repeat that because my brain is still having a hard time comprehending this – OUTBACK JACK TAGS IN STEVE BLACKMAN.
The at some point in the future Lethal Weapon comes in and is immediately overwhelmed by BRADY BOONE. Good thing Boone was a moron and somehow crotched himself on the top rope.
So Haku comes in and is like nuts to this and turns the tide, immediately taking over the match and giving poor Bobby something to smile about. Tama also joins the fun with a big ol’ top rope choparoo.
The fans are having no part of this however, as they start a very loud “WEASEL” chant. Bobby of course has no recourse but to cover his ears.
At this point, Haku decides that Boone is no competition and wants to give Blackman a shot. So Steve tries an elbow or two, and Haku just levels him with a super nice dropkick. He was so fun to watch. The high chief comes in for a total of maybe five seconds before tagging back out to Tama. I’d criticize him for such a lack of effort, but honestly him not being in the match makes it better so I’ll let that slide.
Tama goes for a giant elbow on Outback who koalas right out of the way. In comes Boone, who hits a flying maneuver of some kind. But just as things look to be going Battle Kat’s way…
…Haku gets back in and decides it’s time to be done for the night. One atomic drop and a GIGANTIC flying splash later this match is in the books. And best of all, Sivi Afi is nowhere to be seen. Pretty sure he was never seen on television as part of this act again. They didn’t call Heenan “The Brain” for nothing!