About a week ago, I did an induction featuring a match between Ted Arcidi and Big John Studd, a trainwreck if there ever was one. I made a note in that piece that I didn’t think either guy was a very good wrestler, and boy oh boy did some of you let me hear about it, especially when it comes to Big John! So I figured as a make good to all who were offended I would give you a SQUASH of the Week featuring Mr. Studd!
In fact, it’s not just any run of the mill squash, but one of the old fashioned handicap variety. Here Studd is taking on Rick Hunter and Jimmy Powers (who would go on to be part of the Young Stallions with Paul Roma). At this time, Studd’s manager, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, was offering a whopping $15,000 for anyone who could body slam his giant.
Before the match starts however, King Tonga (aka Haku aka Meng makes an appearance and asks for his chance to slam Studd for the money. Heenan quickly explains it’s not Tonga’s night and he’ll just have to wait.
So Hunter gives it a go first, just walking right up to Studd and going hands first straight into his crotch. I know that sounds lewd, but basically that’s what he’s attempting here. Even commentator Bruno Sammartino mocks Hunter’s attempt, explaining that just walking right up to the guy probably ain’t the best tactic.
Powers gives it a go next, doing the exact same thing. It fails too of course, but at least he gets Studd a bit further off his feet.
In fact, on his third attempt he really elevates Studd, no doubt thanks to giving him a big fistful of wedgie! Still, it’s not even close to a body slam and Studd looks at Bobby and basically starts laughing.
Next these two brain surgeons try to slam Studd simultaneously. Like how would THAT even work? And if they did were they going to split the money? Regardless it’s a disaster and Studd starts dismantling them.
Finally they try something different, with Powers dropkicking Studd and getting him off balance. But second verse is the same as the first as he barely gets him off his feet and Studd just tosses him outside like yesterday’s newspaper.
Powers decides to try to hammer away on the big guy, only to be brushed off and slammed himself for the three count. Yes kids, a body slam used to be a pro wrestling FINISHING MOVE.
At this point Tonga returns, saving Hunter and Powers from further humiliation. Studd goes to attack, but Tonga bobs and weaves before laying in a couple shots of his own and then, oh yes, slamming Studd all by himself! Look at that crowd go insane!
Heenan and Studd run for the hills while Tonga takes the mic and demands the $15,000. He even pantomimes doing a body slam just in case they didn’t understand why he was looking for that money! Heenan of course would explain that this wasn’t an official match, no money for Tonga. What a weasel that Bobby Heenan turned out to be!