A Halloween SQUASH with a Vampire. A Vampire Named Kevin.

Kevin Thorn

It’s Halloween which means but one thing – it’s time for a spooky SQUASH of the Week! And who better to provide it than an honest to goodness wrestling VAMPIRE?

It’s our old friend, a vampire named Kevin! He also has his girlfriend/mistress/vampiress/whatever at his side, a classy lady named Ariel. But this ain’t no little mermaid, no no no!

Look at her as she does a total stripper move, then bounces herself upside down like an honest to goodness BAT (giving fans a panty shot in the process). If that ain’t Halloween I don’t know what is!

Like even the vampire’s opponent (Shannon Moore) is looking at all these shenanigans and you can tell he’s thinking, “I have THIS hairdo and wacky face paint galore. Next to these guys, I look like a bank teller in comparison. Well, crap.”

Regardless, the match starts and Moore gives it, as they say, the old college try. Unfortunately he’s taking on a dude from Transylvania U and nearly gets decapitated with a blood curdling clothesline.

Some clobberin’ comes next, as it appears Thorn wants to drive a spike right into Moore’s chest. I think he’d have experience with that. Or at least trying to avoid such a fate, right?

Moore comes back with a kick and decides to climb to the top, and Kevincula gives what essentially amounts to a reverse body slam to take back over.

Thorn then takes him over to the other corner, finishing poor Shannon off with the “Dark Kiss”, basically a top rope stunner. Brutal. You’d think getting the victory would be enough for Dracukevin, but the fun is just beginning!

Ariel prowls in like a hellcat then she straddles Kevin who lifts her in the air. He then dips her upside down right into Shannon’s face. I thought she was going to bite his neck, but instead she just pats him on the cheek. What was THAT? If you’re gonna vampire, go full vampire, girl! Nevertheless, Happy Halloween everyone!!

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