Fellow Crapper Carl writes:
Dear RD and Brad and Triple Kelly. (Maybe I should start addressing to you as the wrestlecrap gang)-
The recent announcement of Hulk “Don’t call me bald” Hogan signing with TNA got me thinking to the last time Hogan put wrestling on the map. More specifically to some of the “amazing” merchandise that was produced during this period.
I present to you… the Tiger Electronics Hollywood Hogan LCD game. Yes this is the game that turns good old Terry Bollea into some sort of freakish Teletubby. It certainly is the stuff of nightmares. However the problems with it don’t stop there. Look at the design shape. Yes it kinda resembles Hogan. But it certainly doesn’t resemble any form of ergonomically designed controller. Trying to play this game has your hands twisted in such a way that a 5 minute play session leaves you feeling like you have been stretched in Stu Harts dungeon. In pain and begging for mercy. Thankfully though. There is no way you could play this game for 10 seconds let alone 10 minutes. See those little characters on the screen there? No. And thats not because the picture is bad. The characters are so tiny its impossible to make out who they are. I assume that the one you get to play as, is Hogan. The other fella? Who knows? Lets pretend it’s Lash Leroux, for no other reason than a guy with ginger hair will never get over. Let alone star in a game.
So Lash and Hogan face each other, and eventually through random button pushes one will throw the other. How this is decided I don’t know. Then what happens is it gets turned off. Why? Because the button layout means that “off” is cleverly placed right by the “get up” button. Whether this means that Lash wins by forfeit? Again I don’t know. I never turned it on again to find out.
I can only look forward to all the new Hogan merchandise that Dixie and The Bisch will license in this new and hopefully final phase of Hogans wrestling career.
Note from RD: I fully endorse a Dixie Carter game that looks exactly like this.
Sugar.