Fellow Crapper Gregorio Syquia writes: “I was at the The W’s message board and I came across this eBay auction. You might want to consider this for your Someone Bought This section.”
RD: I see something like this, and it makes me want to come out of retirement. Seriously, could you imagine the advice I could give this young up and comer?
Buff: “So what sage advice can you give me?”
RD: “You should get calf implants.”
Buff: “I already did that!”
RD: “Then you should hunt down the doctor who did it and get your money back.”
Buff: “You’re probably right. What else should I do to better my career?”
RD: “Your mother should be at ringside with you every single night. In fact, she should never leave your side. You guys could be the first ever siamese twin mother/son tag team.”
Buff: “Great idea!”
RD: “I stole it from someone on our forums.”
Buff: “Cool, what else?”
RD: “Remember when you where in Day of the Warrior and you were boning Julie Strain? You should introduce me to her. In fact, you should introduce me to all of Andy Sidaris’ chicks. And tell them I have a 14″ weiner.”
Buff: “Do you?”
RD: “Of course not. But they won’t know that ’til it’s too late.”
Buff: “Alright, it’s just about time for us to go out there. Any final advice?”
RD: “Try not to suck so much.”
Buff: “Wow! I’d never thought of that! This is gonna be GREAT!”
Hmmm…now where’s my Goodwill sportscoat and “You Suck!” tie?