I am glad to be back among the living after a horrendous couple of weeks battling some weird virus that had me waking up with my eyes sealed shut with some kinda nasty gunk. From Christmas Eve until pretty much yesterday, I was more or less incapacitated, leaving the house only to go to either the doctor or the grocery. I still kinda feel a bit like I’m in some weird fever dream, which leads of course to our first question…
87 Different People ask…”Vince is back? What on earth did we do to deserve this?”
The strangest thing to me is that anyone – anyone – is shocked by this at all. What on earth do you think Vince was going to do in “retirement”? Learn to program in C++? Of course not. The man has lived his entire life for one thing, and that is World Wrestling Entertainment. He wasn’t going to just sit back and do nothing until he dies. This was all inevitable. If you’re buying the current line that nothing is changing in day to day ops, I have a bridge I’d like to sell you. Vince will be back in charge of everything before you know it, the wheels are now fully in motion. And I, for one, am thrilled.
Don’t get me wrong. As I’ve said countless times, I am entertained when things are great or horrible. There’s nothing worse than the same old, same old. While the Hunter era has been more logical, it’s also missing the random train wreck that makes wrestling fun to mock and, well, induct. Vince has obviously done a LOT of very bad things and probably shouldn’t even be walking the streets. But for my pure entertainment, the world of wrestling is at its best when there are completely insane, unpredictable people are in positions of power. Ain’t no one more insane than this guy. So bring on the inductions, Vince. I’ll be waiting.
James B inquires…”If for some reason you were forced to rename the Gooker award, what would you name it?”
Easy. The Blade Braxton Memorial Black Scorpion Award. I still can’t believe he’s gone.
Nick S queries…”I dunno if it’s a good mailbag question… but maybe something for everyone who works on the site:
Waffle House vs. IHOP. Which is preferred and why?”
IHOP was always a big deal to me ever since I was a kid. When we’d go on vacation, going to IHOP was an absolute treat as we had none near us and I thought it really was an INTERNATIONAL restaurant. This rube from the hills of southern Indiana didn’t know no better. I remember always struggling to decide if I should get a ham & cheese omelette or chocolate chip pancakes (95% of the time it would be the latter). The food was great and totally different than what I ever experienced at restaurants around us – we never went out for breakfast, so that was something special as well. With all that said, I dig Waffle House too. I love love LOVE waffles (so much that I have a Golden Malted iron and mix at the house), and theirs are pretty darn good. A great breakfast with hash browns covered and chunked. Yeah, I speak the lingo. 😉
Sean B asks…”When will Hulk Hogan on the A-Team be inducted at the ‘crap?”
I don’t know that I have the episode. If you can point me to somewhere I can stream it, I’ll induct it this year for sure. I need to do it soon, otherwise ain’t no one going to remember what the A-Team even was. I call that the Rich Little Christmas Carol effect – I plan on doing that one every December, but I never have because although I know it’s horrible, I’d likely spend 90% of the piece trying to explain who Truman Capote was.
Mike M wants to know…”Favorite Catwoman?”
Gut immediately says Julie Newmar of course, but every single time I watch Batman Returns Michelle Pfeiffer keeps getting closer. She looks like a million bucks, and she put a live bird in her mouth in that crazy scene with the Penguin.
Those aren’t special effects, that ain’t CGI. She put a LIVE BIRD IN HER MOUTH at Tim Burton’s prodding. Years later, Pfeiffer admitted it was probably a bad idea. “I can’t believe I did that. I could have gotten a disease.” But hey, again…I dig crazy people. Good job, Shelly!
Steve M asks…”Is Prime Time Wrestling with Bobby and Gorilla still your wrestling go to for a quick pick me up or has something taken its place?”
Yes, Monsoon and Bobby will never be touched for a wrestling pick me up. Nothing in pro wrestling has ever brought me happiness the way they have. Outside of the squared circle, it would be Auralnauts’ Star Wars saga. I was so depressed to just be sitting around doing nothing, missing out on holiday fun. I can’t tell you how many times I watched those to try to get me through my recent illness. In fact, I think I will leave you with the finale of their Kenobi revamp, wherein Obi Wan (Larry) is now a deadbeat drifter who tells Luke stories he doesn’t believe. Trust me, it’s 20 minutes well spent: