If you weren’t paying close attention when you first clicked on this page, you might have thought I was pulling a rib on our good buddy RD by featuring him this week. Nope, this grungy looking Jobber Of The Week is not Real Deal Reynolds, he is RT Reynolds.
What does the RT stand for? I don’t know, maybe “Rough Times,” as this hairy loser, who looked like he just hopped off the Grateful Dead tour bus, had a lot of them when he first arrived in the WWF in late 1984. He looked like a stoner. His win-loss record from 84 – early 1985 looked like that of a stoner. Heck, I think the only thing that could save this slacker’s career was if Vinnie Mac cleaned him up and shipped him off to boot camp or something.
AHHHHH!!!!
I spoke too soon. Looks like RT did shape himself up a little. Now, instead of looking like a member of Led Zeppelin, he looked liked Rambo Gagne’s pissed off older brother. As Corporal Kirschner, the former RT finally reeled off some wins, including a big WrestleMania 2 victory over Nikolai Volkoff. Did he make everyone forget about the man he was replacing, one Sgt. Slaughter? Not quite, but he did hang around long enough to be immortalized in action figure form.
Probably not the best selling WWF action figure ever, but for those kiddies looking to compliment their “kung-fu grip” GI Joe squadron with a WWF soldier whose pained facial expression looks like he is in the “grips of constipation,” the Corporal was a perfect fit.
Kirschner hung around the midcard until late 1987, before being rumored to be “dishonorably discharged” from the WWF. He was next spotted in Japan, only his trusty American flag had been replaced – by a chainsaw! He ditched the military gimmick and instead became the Texas Chainsaw Massacre-inspired Leatherface.
The last blip on any radar looking for Kirschner was spotted in 2001, around the time of WrestleMania 17’s gimmick battle royal. He was shockingly announced as being a participant, and was even shown on an onscreen graphic hyping the match. Sadly, for anyone who got remotely excited at the prospect of seeing the Sarge and the Corporal facing off to see who the supreme grunt of the 80’s was, had to be let down when Kirschner ultimately was not involved.
Mike “Corporal” Kirschner has remained AWOL ever since.
AWOL, mind you – not dead.