I know what you’re thinking.
Who the fu#k are these guys?!?!?
Actually, it’s a moderate-to-quick story. Last night, I got a call from RD asking me if I could do a new JOTW column. Sure, I said. Then I got to the realization that it was almost 10:00 pm, and I had to be at work in less than eight hours. No time to search through numerous old wrestling tapes, or Google my sleep hours away trying to uncover info for a prospective Italian Stallion or Iron Mike Sharpe column. Not wanting to let RD or the Wrestlecrappers down, but at the same time stumped on who to profile, I decided I was going to make it an easy decision. I was just going to pop in a tape, and the first jobber I saw was gonna get inducted. Like Vinnie Vegas waiting until 6:30 pm on Halloween to see if Spencer’s has any Wizard Of Oz costumes left, I took my big gamble. And the first ever, random Jobber Of The Week roulette wheel landed on…
….the makeshift enhancement talent tag-team of Lyn Wagner and Butch Stanley.
Oh boy. The good old days of just throwing two jobbers together to form a generic tag-team that gets squashed. And here are THE perfect poster boys for that method of matchmaking from days gone by. Would’ya look at these two unknown guys. They fit the JOTW requirements to a tee. Hideously bad mullets. These two are ALL business in the front, but I’ll be damned if there isn’t one hell of a party going on in back. So much of a party, I think that’s what we’ll christen this once anonymous and unknown jobber team – THE PARTY BOYZ. Also, it appears the token Pabst Blue Ribbon-inspired matching beer guts are in tow. Let’s take a look at these two a little more in-depth, shall we.
On the left we have a very short guy by the name of Lyn Wagner. You know, I don’t think there’s ever been a less-intimidating name in the history of the WWF – “Lyn.” I only know of one person named “Lyn,” and that’s Evil-Lyn, the naughty wench from the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoon.
I think even she’d go over Wagner. On the right we have Butch Stanley. Butch F’n Stanley. Unlike “Lyn Wagner,” that is one of the coolest and macho names of all-time. Not only that, Butch just reeks of being a real man. He’s got the mullet…wait, check that. Upon further inspection, that’s no mullet. That’s a RAT-TAIL!!!!!!!!! I repeat, RAT-TAIL!!!! What a stud!! And check out that homemade tattoo on his arm. The footage is grainy, but I bet it reads “Butch Rules.” Also, check out Butch’s hairy armpits. Heh, only a sissy boy would shave or wax himself. He’s such the man, I wish he was the Stanley who sung in Kiss, and not this pansy seen below..
Why do you think a slang term for a lesbian is “butch.” Because Butch is all man!!!
The Party Boyz first and only match together would come in January of 1990. And what a Cinderella story it could’ve been. They were to receive a title shot against the WWF Tag-Team champions, Andre the Giant and Haku. Could Butch and Lyn, the Party Boyz, shock the world and become role models for every beer drinking, bad hairdo’d fan of wrestling?
Not quite. Once the bell rang, the ass-kicking of all ass-kickings commenced. Haku dominated both Butch and Lyn, who were unable to get in even a single offensive move, not counting a few punches Haku no-sold. After a few minutes of domination, Haku tagged in the “Boss,” to go in for the kill. And boy did he ever. Like a shark sensing blood, Andre had his eyes on one thing and one thing only…..
THE RAT-TAIL!!!!!!!!!
Oh no, look out Butch!!! Andre grabbed poor Butch’s rat-tail like Bill Murray should’ve grabbed that gopher’s tail in Caddyshack, and proceeded to headbutt him unmercifully en route to a pinfall victory. It was a painful day for Butch. Not only did his rat-tail get abused, but he was also on the receiving end of an accidental wedgie from Demolition, who had ran in the after the match to confront the champs.
And that was it. Lyn Wagner and Butch Stanley were never heard from again. They virtually disappeared from the WWF. Perhaps in a perfect world, they would’ve upset the champs. Perhaps in a perfect world, they would’ve dressed up like their more famous namesakes and stood out a little more and not been discarded. Eh, oh well.
Many thanks to RD for this, the worst Photoshop job in the history of the internet
Hope you enjoyed looking back at the all-too-brief saga of the Party Boyz, Butch Stanley and Lyn Wagner. Come back next week when we profile somebody you may actually give a rat’s ass…or would that be rat-tail….about!!!