Yodelin’ Antonio Cesaro

Antonio Cesaro

Just as the Gooker Award voting wraps up (you have until Friday night!), we are treated as well to the annual Wrestling Observer Awards. And hey, who would have thunk it?

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Cesaro, most underrated. Third time this has happened in a row. Dave Meltzer, thoughts?

Cesaro, 35, joins Shelton Benjamin as the only person to win this three years in a row. Like in 2014, Cesaro showed absolute brilliance at times in his longer matches, but is never pushed at the level of his ability. Every time there is a tease things will change, a week or two later it becomes clear that they’ve already dropped the idea.

With the “Cesaro section” gimmick at televised events, the company had the perfect opportunity to elevate him as a star, gave lip service to the idea briefly, but eventually he was still in the same position. Then shoulder surgery put him out of commission. The injury could be a blessing if they gave a big push to his return, but it’s probably not going to happen, as Vince McMahon doesn’t see him as main event talent.

Cesaro will be out for much of 2016 after shoulder surgery. But even then, he would still be a favorite every year, because it seems clear he may got the classic start-and-stop push at times, but it’s unlikely to be maintained.”

Preach on, brother Dave.

I mean, seriously, look at what the dude can do.

uppercut

That, THAT, is a tremendous manoeuvre, and he makes it look absolutely effortless. I am right there with you, Zeb Colter, thrusting my fists into the air and screaming “YES!” every time he hits that move. It looks absolutely amazing.

Even better when he pulls off a Super Street Fighting Mortal Kombat 5-second super charged version of it!

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BLAM!

So yeah, you’d think that folks in the WWE offices would watch one of his incredible matches and maybe think, “You know what? Cesaro vs. Brock Lesnar, that would make for a one helluva bout.”

Instead, they notice he is from Switzerland and think of 1970’s hot chocolate commercials.

[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP-UUrWm-3M[/embedyt]

We often joke on here about how Vince McMahon is stuck in a time warp, and this could be the best proof ever of our claim. Seriously, could you NOT see this being the reason for this gimmick?

Who thought telling one of the toughest, strongest, ass kicking-est guys on the roster to start yodeling was a good idea?

Does anyone like yodeling?

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Screw you, cowboy! Nobody likes yodeling, let alone LOVES yodeling. And don’t point to that “Volume TWO” as evidence someone does.

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Infuriating. Absolutely infuriating that someone that can do this…

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…and this company’s idiotic idea was to have him make this sound on the way to the ring. But as horrible as it was in its early days, it somehow got worse as the guy made his way to the ring for a bout against R Truth.

Who’s ready for a rap battle?

I sure ain’t, but Cesaro was! And it sounded like this!

Where’s Michael Cole to tell me that Cesaro likes to have fun? Don’t you love it when he says that? Is there someone on planet earth that DOESN’T like to have fun? Can someone punch Cole in the mouth the next time you see him?

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And while I am ranting and raving like a lunatic, what is the deal with WWE wrestlers sometimes having GIANT HANDS on my television screen? I mean, I am not sure what kinda camera Kevin Dunn’s goof troop is filming with these days, but this isn’t the first time I’ve seen it. If you go back to the March 2, 2013 episode of Saturday Morning Slam (which you will all recall as my favorite WWE show of the last 10 years (the entire run, not this particular ep), Zack Ryder also had a similar malady:

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Seriously, what is the deal here? Is this something that has been happening for years and I am just now noticing it as I am forcing myself to do screen grabs for your amusement? Am I going to get a cease & desist from WWE concerning this?

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It’s rare anymore that WWE does anything that elicits any real emotion from me, but I have to admit the more I am working on this induction, the more enraged I am becoming. Again, visual evidence as to the greatness of this man:

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And thought of Jessie from Toy Story:

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And hey, remember when he hurled up the Big Show and threw him over the top rope on WWE’s biggest PPV of the year a couple years ago?

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Remember how fun that was and how we all through this was going to lead to big things for the guy?

Instead, we got this:

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Wait, no, that’s not yodel, that YADDLE.

Anyone remember Yaddle?

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Yes, someone thought that having a FEMALE YODA was a good idea. Likewise, someone thought that having Antonio Cesaro yodel was a good idea.

Both of these people were paid to come up with these thoughts. The amount they were compensated for these ideas is inconsequential. The sheer fact that any type of money was given out in exchange for them is mind boggling.

While Cesaro’s yodeling gimmick lasted a few short weeks, his tenure in the mid card of WWE continues to this day. One can only hope that when he returns from his torn rotator cuff surgery he is given a real chance to work his way up the card. But like Dave, I have little faith in that happening.

Maybe someone needs to hide the hot chocolate at the McMahon household?

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