Hitting the month of September means that Halloween is just around the corner, and as much as I love Christmas, October 31 is close behind. I mean, we all agree that this is the best time of the year, right? Not only do we get to see spooky stuff hanging up, the NFL kicks off and the ridiculous heat that’s plagued us for too long is going bye bye. Should anyone ever ask you what the best season is, you tell them fall. No sane person could ever argue that. The crazy thing is once upon a time it was even better than it is today. Because this was also the time of year that back in the day featured one of the greatest annual wrestling PPVs ever: Halloween Havoc!
That show was so awesome. Said it before, and I will say it again – if there’s one thing WCW loved more than utter nonsense, it was HALLOWEEN baby. And I loved them for that.
This company would create ridiculous sets with giant pumpkins, they’d have folks play dress up, they’d do it all. Man I miss those shows. Well, except for the last one. No shocker there I suppose, as it was in WCW’s free fall in 2000, a story I’ve chronicled many times before. Yep, that show was an utter atrocity that just so happened to feature the horrendous bout we’re discussing today.
This would be a kickboxing match featuring the fella you see pictured here. This, my friends, would be one Mike Sanders. I apologize, “Above Average” Mike Sanders. Yes, that was really his nickname. Does that inspire confidence in you? No? Well, that’s probably for the best.
Anyway, he was the commissioner or something or other in the dying days of WCW. In fact, it just so happens that’s what’s on the line in this here match. No doubt concerned that he needs some back up against his mighty opponent, he has Chuck Palumbo and Shawn Stasiak in his corner.
His foe this evening would be Ernest “The Cat” Miller, one of Eric Bischoff’s karate buddies, which would seem to give him a slight edge in a kickboxing match. While Cat wasn’t the best worker in the ring by any stretch of the imagination, I will admit that he was at least entertaining running his mouth and shouting nonsense. This evening, he has “Ms. Jones” with him in his corner, which I’m quite certain was a Vince Russo creation. Meaning the character, not the woman herself. That being the case, I have to ask…wasn’t the song “Mrs. Jones”, no “Ms. Jones”? What an inexcusable faux pax. Someone remind me I need to yell at Russo the next time I talk to him.
And HOLY SMOKES did they ruin that Halloween Havoc logo. Everyone always talks about that stupid Star Trek WCW logo at the end, but this atrocity is way way way worse. Seriously, we got that eyesore…
…when we used to have THIS work of art. That thing is beautiful in every way. The V is shaped like a knife for crying out loud!
Sigh…so I guess I must talk about this “match”. It starts off with some punches and some kicks and then what appears to be a trip that wouldn’t knock a toddler over. Somehow this leads to discussion of whether a leg sweep is legal or not, with color commentator Mark Madden noting that it wasn’t allowed in The Karate Kid. Tony Schiavone and Stevie Ray (ah yes, this was during that glorious period where the company thought not only did they need a third guy in the booth, but that guy should be STEVIE RAY) proceed to bury the idea that anyone even knows what that movie is anymore. Yes, The Karate Kid, a relic forgotten to the sands of time. I’d like to remind you this conversation took place TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO.
Where’s Terry Silver to defend himself?
Despite using every cheap heat heel tactic imaginable, the crowd is remarkably silent. Like you could hear a pin drop. But then…they got very animated and popped huge. For what you ask?
This random ring file who never appeared on WCW television before and never would again.
We go to round two, and absolutely nothing happens for the first minute or so. At the 45 second mark, Cat goes crazy with a takedown followed by some wacky, wacky footwork. He then does a split legged punch with gusto. Not gonna lie, that made me laugh. It looked like something Johnny Cage would have done in Mortal Kombat!
As round two is drawing to a close, Sanders is totally gassed and looking to his partners to throw in the towel. I mean, why can’t he just quit? Why would he need someone to literally throw in a towel here? Regardless, this leads to his cronies bickering with each other. Because you know what would wake up a dead crowd?
Well, it’s not an argument between Chuck Palumbo and Shawn Stasiak, I’ll tell you that. Seriously, if you really need to get a reaction, you go to your ace in the hole.
YEP!
Round three starts with Cat doing a cartwheel that somehow knocks Sanders down. No, I don’t know the physics of that either. Probably best to not think too hard about it. I mean, no one who booked this match did, why should we?
Finally, Sanders get the edge as Shawn Douglas shows up and clocks The Cat with a gimmick. I should note this probably would have had more impact if Ernest had not LOUDLY shouted “GET THE CHAIN!” five seconds prior.
Finally we get to the end of the round, with Miller recovering with scant seconds to go in the match. As this happens, the announcers express their confusion, as neither man has won the match yet despite going the distance. Now you might think that a draw in a staged kickboxing match would likely be the dumbest thing ever, but this is WCW we’re talking about so we ain’t close to being done yet!
Instead, the match continues (NO!!!!!!!) with Sanders throwing windmill punches like a 1930s cartoon character before getting kicked right upside his head. Cat wins in overtime, right?
Of course not. Instead, he jumps outside the ring to start thowing down with Shane. Watch closely in the background above and you will see the referee counting. No doubt you are saying, “Ok, even WCW 2000 isn’t stupid enough to do this” but of course you’d be wrong as we do in fact get a…
COUNT OUT IN A KICKBOXING MATCH!
Seeing as this is the same company that once had a count out in a falls count anywhere match, are you honestly surprised? Heck, I would kinda be sad if this stupid match didn’t have an equally stupid ending. I love you and miss you, my sweet WCW. There will never be another company like you and I can’t be the only one who is sad about that!