Now here’s a recipe for comedy. Take a hated heel, and have him steal a babyface’s hot girlfriend. Have the heel and the chick head to a seedy hotel room, and place a hidden camera on the bed. Then have the heel throw a tantrum about how he can’t get it up.
Are you laughing already? No? Well, then, your last name must not be Russo. Anyway, this was yet another ill-conceived storyline from Vinnie Ru’s 2000 reign of terror in WCW.
The players? “The Franchise” Shane Douglas as the nogoodnik. Torrie Wilson as the woman he loved. And Billy Kidman, mankind’s last hope. Or something like that.
Can you just imagine the planning of this debacle? Why, I can almost hear Russo now…
“So what happens is that Shane is with this hot babe, but his little soldier won’t stand at attention, you know? His “special friend” won’t rise to the occasion. He can’t get an ERECTION!
The marks will love it, and we can make them think that it’s a shoot!
And remember, shoots = ratings!”
“Then Torrie will be in the ring while the video of all this is playing, and she’ll act surprised. Or try to. Maybe she’ll look like she’s laughing.
Who cares, she’s a hot b*tch, and remember, hot b*tches = ratings!”
“So all this sets up the big pay-off – a Viagra on a Pole match! Get it? Shane can’t get it up, so he needs the Viagra. Plus, Viagra…Pole…get it? It’s a sexual innuendo!
The finish sees Kidman climbing the pole and grabbing the Viagra…
…but Torrie distracts the ref, and Franchise gets the Viagra! The marks won’t see that coming!
Coming! Get it? It’s a sexual innuendo!”
So Shane gets the Viagra.
‘Gets’, get it? It’s a sexual innuendo!
Sexual Innuendos = Ratings!”
“Then, we’ll have Torrie shove Kidman’s face into the pills. It’ll be like an overdose, and overdoses are real life, that’s reality.
Reality = Ratings!”
Perhaps this whole fiasco helped to relieve some weird sexual frustration on Vince Russo’s part, but shockingly, it DIDN’T equal ratings.
Today, Russo and Douglas, having both burned their bridges with the WWF, are left on the sidelines, while Kidman and Torrie are both looking to be major players in the WWF’s new WCW.
Somehow, that seems appropriate.