I’ve found over the years when I start down the path for one article on the site it’s not at all uncommon for it to lead to something else of a similar vein. So if you aren’t jonesing for a double dip induction featuring one of the worst in-ring wrestlers I’ve ever seen, well, all I can say is blame Bigfoot.
Yes, Bigfoot. See, I got sent a video of Uncle Elmer SQUASHING a jobber with a ridiculous name and that led me to thinking…what stupid Uncle Elmer stuff have I inducted? Did I do that horrible WrestleMania match? How about the Saturday Night’s Main Event where he weighed while eating a giant bucket of pig parts? The answer to both of those questions was “NO” and well, here we all are. Enjoy I guess.
No doubt you are thinking, “Wait, you’re telling me that there was a WrestleMania that was so bereft of talent it needed to have a match with UNCLE ELMER?” You betcha!
It was WrestleMania 2, the goofy one that took place in three locations, those being New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles. I reviewed that thing like 15 years ago with Blade and Harry, and it was bonkers. You had battle royals with football players, Susan St. James saying “Uh oh” 127 times in the span of 3 minutes, and spokespeople from both Burger King (Herb) and Wendy’s (the “Where’s the Beef?” lady) all taking part in the festivities. Jesse and Lord Alfred were part of the LA crew, so Elvira pointing at her boobs just seemed par for the course.
Speaking of boobs, here’s “Adorable” Adrian Adonis decked out in his finest dress. Or maybe it’s a mumu. Regardless it’s hideous. But hey, he’s a heel, so that makes sense I guess (in a sleazy Vince McMahon kinda way).
His opponent was of course the big hillbilly, who fluttered and flittered around the ring to mock the Adorable one. Seeing those moves, we should all consider ourselves fortunate that Rick Rude wasn’t in the company yet, because I could have totally seen Vince booking these two for a hip swivel showdown.
So we get in the ring, and Adonis is bouncing all over the ring like a ping pong ball for Elmer’s offense. Now you may question me saying just how terrible the big hillbilly was in the ring, so I’ll just point out that he fell down throwing a punch. Let me repeat that:
HE FELL DOWN THROWING A PUNCH!
People always like to ask me what the greatest case of a great worker carrying a horrible worker in a match is, and I never really mention this one. Well that’s gonna change because there may never be a bigger disparity of in-ring talent than what we’re seeing here. Holy crap.
Of course the reason I probably don’t bring this one up is it would give me flashbacks to Adrian wiggling out of his outfit. Props to Elvira who had the line of the night as she began screaming “PUT THE DRESS BACK ON!!!” as she watched on from the broadcast booth. That’s kinda impressive when you can cause the legendary Mistress of the Dark to shriek in horror.
Elmer takes back over and winds up for…well…I think it was supposed to be a legdrop. That or he just fell down again. Regardless, it gives Adrian the opportunity to climb to the top ropes (!!!) and pick up the win with a diving forearm smash. Just makes me wanna sing out WRESTLEMANIA!!!! (And yes, I know that song didn’t come out until nearly a decade later.)
Now let’s go to SNME as Elmer is slated to take on King Kong Bundy, who just weeks earlier was in the main event of the aforementioned WrestleMania 2. Egads. Talk about a fall from grace. I mean seriously, Bundy went from battling Hulk Hogan to taking on…
…Uncle Elmer who was backstage chowing down on a giant bucket of fried pig parts! Not gonna lie, if someone found that thing I just might trade the Katie Vick outfit for it straight up.
So Bundy and Elmer lock up and…wait, what does that say on the back of his shirt? Pretty sure it’s “At Speedy You’re a Somebody!” Wait a minute…
…are you telling me that Uncle Elmer had a SPONSORSHIP deal? Or was Elmer moonlighting at a car repair shop? I’d be appalled by that but thinking he would have had to have been better putting mufflers on old jalopies than wrestling.
So Bundy attempts to take down Elmer, but he ain’t a goin’ nowheres! See because he’s so big. And as horrible as he is, I do have to say that him doing a MUSCLE POSE did make me laugh.
Sadly that’s where the positives come to a grinding halt. Kinda like this match. You can see Bundy trying to do something, ANYTHING, to make this watchable. One can only wonder what King Kong was whispering in Elmer’s ear as he put choked him. In fact, you know what, I’ll send $10 via PayPal to the Crapper with the funniest answer in the comments below. Contest ends Jan 30, 2025!
Can you tell I’m doing everything in my power to not go back to watching any more of this match? And honestly, can you blame me when this is the action on display? That spot where he kept driving his anus into Bundy’s midsection is gonna cause me nightmares.
It doesn’t take long for Elmer to do something dumb (in this case the classic ‘run blindly into the corner in an attempt to use my belly as a battering ram’ tactic). Like a 440 pound cat, Bundy springs out of harm’s way. One elbow drop later, King Kong picks up the duke and the pig farmer (or muffler installer I guess) is on the losing end once more. Of course, Elmer had more craptastic moments (he was MARRIED on national television!!!) but come on guys…even I can only take so much at once!