On the road, traveling for work, but I’m not sweating it. A long, 8-hour flight will provide me plenty of time to go back through the Nitro and Thunder archives for the next target of my poison pen. I know the dates this mishap took place, and through I’ll have to tear through about 2 months of those shows, I am ready, with my trusty portable drive in place.
Just one issue: drive won’t mount. That means, ain’t doing what I planned today. My mind begins to scramble…plane is leaving soon, and no time to pull down a bunch of video. Going through the WrestleCrap Archives (now THAT’s how you get a cheap plug in!), and discover…oh this can’t possibly be true…we’ve never inducted THIS match?
The match Dave Meltzer noted looked like two blind men wrestling?
Today’s your lucky day, boys!
Clash of Champions number lucky 13 it is, which according to the ever accurate Wikipedia which has declared me dead three times, says is the last Clash under the NWA banner before it switched over fully to World Championship Wrestling for good. While I’ve been trying to write solely about WCW as I shill the new book (another nice plug, 2 for 2 today!), we covered the NWA era pretty heavily in it so all’s fair today. Plus, you know, outta time, so you gets what you gets.
The more important item to note here is that the card is celebrating Thanksgiving. I thought for a second that it may have taken place on that day, but that’s not the case, as November 20, 1990 was a Tuesday. Bummer. The real letdown, though, is that Thanksgiving used to be a HUGE day on the pro wrestling calendar, one of the biggest of the year. We had Starrcades on Thanksgiving, we had Survivor Series on Thanksgiving, other events as well. Why I remember going to the very first Survivor Series, skipping out on dinner with the family, to hit the road with my buddies for six hours one way to go to the show. I’ll never forget that, not just due to the fact that it was a really fun time, but because every single place to eat on the drive was closed, finally forcing us to eat at a truck stop that had a restaurant named “Restaurant.” Seriously, that was the name of the joint. The food there was edible.
(Note to self: start doing Yelp! reviews using that for everyplace you eat.)
These days, Thanksgiving has moved on past wrestling and into ruining other things, like the greatness that was once Black Friday. Stories of my Black Friday adventures have long been part of WrestleCrap lore, be it on the old WrestleCrap Radio, RD & Blade Show, or via Twitter and Facebook live running commentaries. But the glory of the event has faded in recent years, as stores are moving more and more to opening Thanksgiving night. It was one thing when you had crazy, sleep deprived folks camping out in front of Best Buy for 18 hours hoping to get a discount calculator. Now people just use it as an excuse to leave dinner early with families they can’t stand.
Oh Thanksgiving, what you once were.
I digress. We’re here to talk Sid vs. The Night Stalker, a notoriously horrendous match that I’ve not seen in years and years. In fact, I barely remember it at all. Can it be as bad as legend would tell us? Let’s find out!
First, let’s meet the combatants. I’d mock the fact a guy named NIGHT STALKER is coming in from Tallahassee, Florida, but that would take up valuable word count that can better be served by discussing his BATTLE AXE. Next time Triple H is acting all tough with a sledgehammer, someone should bring one of those to the fight. Just make sure you don’t pat it against your chest as Stalker does here, which clearly shows it is made of cardboard.
I should also note that Ox Baker has a new gimmick as the Invisible Man. Despite what the graphic tells us, he ain’t nowhere to be seen. Maybe he’s heading back for another run in with Bob Barker.
(Also, our best wishes to Ox, as we understand he’s going through some rough times right now.)
Of course, Sid is his foe in this battle. My favorite part of his introduction isn’t the $5 firework set in the background, but rather the fact that Gary Michael Cappetta tells us he is from, and I quote, “anywhere he darn well pleases!”
Anywhere he DARN WELL pleases!!!!
That is a hometown that needs to make a return immediately.
As he heads to the ring, we get a promo from Sid. Sadly, he says nothing of note other than he is going to be coming after Sting. He also explains that he can beat the Stinger on Sid’s worst day. I actually went back and listened to this promo three times just to make sure he said it correctly. He did. You can understand my confusion; in his later years, Sid for sure would have said something like, “Sting, on my best day, you might stand a chance, but on your worst day, I win! Every time! Wait, can I start over?”
A test of strength starts us out. This was not uncommon back in the day when you had two musclebound monsters in the ring. What makes this one different is the fact that the two kinda wind up nuzzling into each others’ bussoms. It looks less like a wrestling match than a night at the Arthur Murray Dance Studio. Both men miss with several kicks to break things up prior Paul Anka starts crooning “Put Your Head on My Shoulder.”
You want dated references? We got ’em here at The Crap!
You want wacky bear hugs that look like something out of the Kama Sutra?
We got ’em here at The Crap!
I will say nothing more than that about this hold. That picture is worth way more than any thousand words this old brain can conjure.
All I can say is that he kept the big guy in that bear hug for a good two minutes.
Which is too bad, because when they broke that hold and started throwing kicks and punches, it got WAY worse. Seeing this, I understand now where Dave came up with the ‘blind men’ analogy, as it seriously looked like neither man had a clue what a punch was supposed to even do, let along how to throw one properly.
Then we got this hold. That’s not some random frame I grabbed; that was a hold that was I guess supposed to inflict damage. Paul Heyman on commentary was screaming about how Ox Baker must have taught Night Stalker this move to cause damage to Sid’s lungs, but c’mon, Paul…it looks more like Stalker is prepping for a post-wrestling career run as a masseuse.
All this excitement leads to a run…err, walk-in by the Big Cat, Curtis Hughes. Anyone remember him? No? Here’s a picture of him frowning at you.
Still don’t remember?
Eh, I tried.
This distraction allows Stalker to get his Corrugated Weapon of Doom at the ready. A running charge misses, of course, which leads to Sid gently patting the ax across Stalker’s chest and scoring the victory.
Hey, it’s on the Network. Right here, in fact. So why not take a look at it and leave some comments below.
And of course, pick up the new Death of WCW: 10th Anniversary Edition.
3 for 3, baby!