Sometimes, things in a wrestling ring just leave you speechless. Things like this.
I put serious thought into just posting that image, and being done with this induction.
Poor Erik Watts.
He threw that horrible dropkick like 20 years ago, and hardcore poindexters such as myself remember it to this day. The sad thing is the guy followed it up with another dropkick that was perfectly acceptable. I mean, it wasn’t Brian Pillman in his prime or anything…more like when Jim Neidhart used to throw those belly high dropkicks…but it wasn’t awful or anything.
But hey, no one remembers that second one. Why? Well, would you rather me waste my time making a GIF of that easy to ignore move or this catastrophe?
Right. Glad we’re all in agreement.
I’m not going to get into the background of Erik Watts and how we allegedly received preferential treatment due to the fact that his dad, the legendary “Cowboy” Bill Watts, was running WCW at the time. I gave up trying to be the super researcher wrestling guy years ago when I realized there was already a Dave Meltzer, the world didn’t need more than one, and if it did, I sure couldn’t be it.
So instead, I’d like to take the time today to discuss Erik’s illustrious WWF career instead. For you see, there was a major difference between the WCW version of Erik Watts and the WWF version of Erik Watts.
The WWF version of Erik Watts was from the future!
No, seriously, he was. And when I say he’s “from the future”, I don’t mean he was from like five years in the future.
On second thought, yeah, I guess I do. He was part of Tekno Team 2000, and he was in the WWF I believe in 1995.
So yeah, I guess he was from five years in the future.
You know, I don’t want to cast aspirsions here, but that’s quite dumb.
I mean, who wants to be from the future, but just FIVE YEARS ahead of where we are now?
Only way I could see that is if you’re playing the stock market or a degenerate gambler, which he wasn’t.
Which is too bad, because “Erik Watts, Degenerate Gambler From the Future” has WrestleMania headliner written all over it.
But hey, it wouldn’t be a team (let alone a TEKNO TEAM) if Erik didn’t have a partner. In this case, the role fell to young Chad Fortune, which is a wrestling name if ever I heard one.
Alas, the WWF didn’t think so, and thus “Erik and Chad” were out, replaced by “Troy and Travis”.
Aren’t these guys supposed to be from the future?
Why not name them something spacey like Glorbax and Zeebot?
Why on earth would you name them like a couple of out of work country singers?
Yeah, I don’t know either, dude.
(Ok, Man Mountain Rock, it’s time we had a chat.
I like you. You’re a good guy. The fact that you show up every week with that ridiculous WWF guitar and that even more ridiculous look on your face makes me laugh.
But all good things must come to an end. Unless my inbox or Facebook gets pummeled with requests to keep you around, I think we’ve seen the last of you.
You had a good run.
In fact, I think you lasted longer here than you did in the WWF.)
So let’s see, how did we know these guys were from the future. Well, they had shiny jackets. Does that count?
If so, the Fabulous Ones are also from the future.
Unless, somehow, the bow ties negate their time traveling abilities.
I suppose that’s possible, but I’d like to think those somehow add to it.
Did I mention they also had a futuristic theme music?
Oh wait, that’s Ballblazer on my old Atari 800, my bad.
Their actual theme may have actually been worse.
Ok, so it’s wasn’t.
But I’d still rather be playing Ballblazer than watching old Tekno Team 2000 matches for your amusement.
Especially when the “highlight” of these bouts include the boys doing double leap frogs.
And let me tell you, these guys LOVED that double leap frog. I have no idea how this would ever help them gain an advantage, but they apparently felt it would. Maybe it’s some kind of futuristic fighting technique.
Seriously, I watched no less than five TT2K matches (which I believe was the grand total of their televised appearances) and they used it every single time.
And it looked pretty damn horrible every single time.
Better than this, though.
You know, it’s funny. This has been an induction people have been asking me to do since the first day I opened WrestleCrap.com.
I never really knew why I kept putting it off.
But now, some eleven years later, I’ve figured it out:
There’s not much to write about.
Seriously, what more can I say?
Do I rail for another 500 words about how their pants looked like the curtains at my grandma’s house?
I never thought I’d write this, but jeez, the New Breed was a better tag team of the future. At least they played the part:
They were from the future too (the year 2002, so they were a full 17 or so years in the future).
They had goofy haircuts.
They had goofy sunglasses.
And they also told us they’d been partying like it was 1999 for three years.
See, because they’re from 2002.
Nah, that was dumb too.
And when I have to start throwing in clips from the freakin’ New Breed to pad an induction…maybe it should have just stayed on the scrap heap.