In late 2011, TNA Wrestling launched its short-lived Indian offshoot, Ring Ka King, sending many of its wrestlers abroad. There were issues, of course:
The TNA wrestlers couldn’t speak the language(s), TV was taped months in advance, and the women’s roster was so sparse that one female wrestler once wrestled herself.
Let me explain:
At its first tapings, Ring Ka King had just three women wrestlers: “Hardcore Country” Mickie James…
…“Future Legend” Alissa Flash (Melissa Anderson)…
…and the GLOW-worthy Syrian heel Raisha Saeed (also Melissa Anderson).
You can see the problem.
Mickie vs. Alissa? Fine.
Mickie vs. Raisha? Fine.
Alissa vs. Raisha? That could be tricky.
Someone would have to don Raisha’s niqab and bodysuit, and it couldn’t be Mickie, who had to do a run-in at the end.
So Ring Ka King found the next best thing: Little Guido.
Again, you can see the problem: Guido wasn’t even Middle Eastern.
Nonetheless, the Italian American man, dressed as a Syrian woman, made his entrance with two Iranian sheiks to Indian music.
It’s hard to believe this was the same guy who once gave Big Vito a hard time for wearing a dress.
Though Alissa gave it her all, hitting a nice elbow drop and a nice cross body (to quote the announcers)…
…Raisha Saeed soon unleashed the dreaded head-smashes. If these didn’t convince you this was a women’s match, I don’t know what would! This had all the makings of a catfight, or so thought one of the hornier announcers.
Raisha Saeed then offered up some authentic Middle Eastern gestures.
Perhaps forgetting he was supposed to be a woman, Guido started strutting around like Vince McMahon.
Flash turned things around with a boot to the face, an English wrestling term so nuanced it went untranslated…
…and a nice dropkick, but Raisha ended the match in the blink of an eye with an Unprettier.
Exhausted after the two-and-a-half-minute bout, Raisha collapsed to the mat but scored the pinfall anyway.
Speaking of “unprettier”, cameras caught a close-up of “Raisha’s” face after the match.
Nah, I take that back — Guido looked quite fetching here. Very tasteful work by the makeup artist.
In a poor display of sportswomanship, Raisha then smashed Flash’s head some more…
…while mixing things up with some punches worthy of a Sicilian shooter.
The Bollywood Boyz then ran in, but were of little help for Alissa.
As men, you see, they couldn’t lay a hand on Raisha Saeed.
It was up to Mickie James to make the save, tossing Raisha’s fine ass out of the ring.
Mickie James would avenge Alissa Flash by beating Raisha Saeed one-on-one.
But was it even the real Raisha? You be the judge.
Ring Ka King came and went, lasting just 13 weeks on Indian TV…
…but that’s nothing compared to another Indian wrestling legend who came… and came… and came.