I know it’s been a running joke around these parts that Stephanie McMahon ushered in a new era of women’s wrestling all by herself, but rest assured how women are presented in the business now is radically, RADICALLY different than it was not all that many years ago. No question some of the women still show up in skimpy outfits but we are talking about a business where guys have wrestled in their underwear since it first started, so who’s keeping count right?
Still, it is more than a little jarring to go back and watch shows from yesteryear. Bra and panties matches, women barking like dogs, and Jerry Lawler yelling about puppies make it feel more than a little icky. And SPEAKING OF ICKY, that’s why we’re here today, featuring Terri Runnels and The Kat in a match I don’t remember at all at a show I most definitely saw, likely multiple times.
Now I’m guessing you remember Terri Runnels, who originally worked in makeup in WCW, then became Alexandra York (of York Foundation fame!), before showing up in the WWF as Marlena, Goldust’s valet (and of course Dustin’s wife). From there she did all kinds of stuff; some good, some bad, but she was in the business for a long time (and is still active on social media if you wanna find out more).
The Kat (Stacy Carter) wasn’t around anywhere near as long, but it was an eventful stay if nothing else. She was legitimately married to Jerry Lawler and at one point when she was let go from the company, Lawler also left in a show of support which was major news as Lawler was one of Vince’s main commentators. She and the King eventually separated and the guy was so absolutely in love with her that he spent seemingly half his book pining over her. It was less an autobiography than a love letter to his ex.
And did I mention she exposed her boobies on PPV for the whole world to see? Yep, that happened too. Like I said, it was a different world, kids.
The feud between the two started simply enough I suppose, with the pair in the locker room have a, dare I say, CATTY argument about how Kat wasn’t getting much TV time. Them’s fighting words back now! Livid about such an accusation, Kat headed to the biggest TV show WWE had that would bother to feature her, Sunday Night Heat. Kat grabbed a mic and decided to air her grievances with Terri. This leads to such legendary exchanges as “If you grab this little tiger by the tail, you better hang on because I bite” followed up by “You don’t bite, you suck!” And then we got the knockout blow of…
….”You are WHORE-ABLE!” Terri then ripped off Kat’s shirt, leaving her exposed to the world and looking so sad at her situation. But hey, I ain’t condoning any of this, but as noted it was for better or worse the style at the time. Besides, it’s just gonna lead to a time filler match the next week on Heat so who cares right?
BUT…this wasn’t leading to some throwaway two minute match on the WWF’s c-show…it was leading to a bout at WRESTLEMANIA!
We go to the showcase of the immortals and sure enough, we get a buck naked Kat talking backstage with the elderly Mae Young. And the only things blocking all those kids at home from premature adolescence was Mae’s cell phone…
…a sweater with a cute little pussy cat…
…and a pair of (water) jugs. Y’all want to say Vince is always out of touch, but by golly Austin Powers came out just three years before this!
Just to ensure things don’t get too out of hand, we have none other than porn star turned pro wrestler Val Venis in the ring as the special referee. Wait a tic, wasn’t Val sleeping with Terri just a few months earlier?
That hardly seems fair!
So Terri comes down to the ring with heaven help us the Fabulous Moolah. Just when I didn’t think things could get any more gross. I may need to take a bleach bath when I am done writing this.
In order to counter any potential shenanigans, Kat brings out Mae Young as backup. Better have the barf bags at the ready kids!
Kat comes in and…I…well…did I mention what a different world it used to be yet?
The match starts and Terri immediately goes after Kat with what I would very generously call something resembling a spear. Seeing a blatant violation of the rules in the form of a hair pull, Val pulls Terri off and lifts her in the air, thus giving her the opening to play tonsil hockey in hopes of gaining his favor. It doesn’t really work however as after macking for a few seconds, he quite literally drops her to the mat. Ok, I admit I did laugh at that.
Kat is so appalled at Terri’s flagrant heel antics that SHE grabs Val and jams her tongue down his throat too. She then looks at Terri proudly, pantomiming as if to say “AH HA! See, I too can be a whore!”
DIFFERENT. WORLD.
This Dave Meltzer verified ***** classic continues with hair pulls right out of the GLOW playbook…
…and Mae trying to take off her shirt to show off her Shar Peis to the crowd. I’d be worried about being cancelled for that line, but honestly I am just reporting what Jerry Lawler said so I am covering myself under the guise of being a reporter here.
And now Mae comes back in and starts making out with Val as well. Hey if that keeps her shirt on then you need to take one for the team Val.
With Val preoccupied in the corner, Kat throws Terri out of the ring through the ropes, which we are told constitutes a victory in this match. Yes, apparently the company had so much faith in these two that they didn’t risk them to actually go for a pin. Yikes!
Sadly however, Val doesn’t see this which allows Terri to sneak back in as Moolah to drags Kat outside giving the little she-devil the win. I’d ask how on earth any of this makes any sense but honestly it brought it to a rather quick end so I won’t bother.
Of course we can’t just have the heel win without some type of comeuppance, so we get Mae throwing Moolah into the turnbuckles and then giving her a bronco buster. That’s a sight I never needed to see, but if I had to bear witness to it, you do as well. Feel free to torture others with the GIF I’ve supplied above.
Then for good measure, Kat rips off Terri’s pants to expose her fanny and the world’s tiniest flesh colored thong. Because honestly, that’s pretty much how every one of these matches ended.
And yes, I said these matches, PLURAL, because this WrestleMania match wasn’t their last PPV encounter, no no. They were in an arm wrestling contest at Insurextion as well as, and I am just quoting here, a “THONG STINK FACE” match at SummerSlam. Those are INDUCTION material for sure, but not for tonight – I already feel the NetNanny getting ready to give me the boot!