Tonight’s induction is one of the most difficult I’ve ever had to write. I mean, how do I discuss a St*nkface match between Terri Runnels and The Kat without getting the whole site labeled, “Adult Content”?
Just look at the Google Image results for this match! I’ve never heard of “X”, but it certainly doesn’t sound safe for work.
In fact, I’ve already censored myself talking about this match — its actual name was the “Thong St*nkface Match”. At least with just, “st*nkface”, Google might think I’m talking about one of these:
Anyway, Summerslam 2000‘s Thong St*nkface match pitted The Kat against Terri Runnels in a re-match of their WrestleMania catfight, with the added stipulation of — you guessed it — a thong st*nkface.
And what that meant was that to win, you had to rub your technically-not-naked butt in your opponent’s face. I don’t care who’s participating — that’s a recipe for WrestleCrap right there.
The match came about when, after a mixed-tag match…
…The Kat convinced Rikishi to deliver his patented St*nkface to an unconscious Terri Runnels, as was his wont.
Terri got her revenge the next week at WWF New York, ambushing The Kat with a (fully clothed) st*nkface of her own.
Despite JR’s insinuation that Terri was gassy, this st*nkface retaliation didn’t come close to topping the original offense.
The only sensible resolution was the first-ever Thong St*nkface match, which, to be perfectly blunt, was practically an adult film. (Again, there are certain words I can’t use here, so “adult film” is as blunt as I can get)
Case in point: Terri strips down the second she steps through the curtain.
Boyfriend Perry Saturn is there with a towel, though, to protect her modesty before her match. Her THONG STlNKFACE match.
That also brings up one of the major flaws of this match: its name implies that Terri Runnels and The Kat have poor hygiene.
Jerry Lawler tried to remedy this with alternative names like the “Sweet Face Match” or the “Happy Face Match”, but to no avail. At least neither woman adopted The King’s Kiss-My-Foot match training regimen.
While Terri Runnels is seconded by her protective boyfriend, The Kat is seconded by Al Snow —
— not Rikishi, who started this whole mess. It seems Perry and Terri let Big ‘Kish off the hook completely.
As RD explained in his last Kat-Terri induction, this was a time in the WWF when women’s wrestling was literally in the mud. Thus, what follows is exactly what you’d expect:
Jerry Lawler being unbearably randy…
…Jim Ross pretending not to be (despite repeatedly calling a body slam, a “crotch slam” for the first and only time in his career)…
…and both women trying not to break their ankles while wrestling in four-inch heels. In practice, that means lots and lots of hair-pulling.
The King, feeling generous, calls this move by the Kat, a “spear”.
But besides generous, Lawler is feeling horny. So horny, in fact, that he ends up admitting way more than he intends.
For example, he says that after getting the st*nkface from Rikishi, Terri’s “breath was rank” — but he still would have kissed her…
…because another man’s fecal residue is not a dealbreaker for him.
He then asks his commentary partner, “Why can’t we be in this match?”
The THONG STlNKFACE match.
Against Jim Ross.
Later, he lets the world in on his unsatisfying sex life. “I’ve been wanting one of those for months!” he complains…
…as The Kat, his wife, jams her privates into Terri’s face. It’s a legitimate wrestling move, of course. Less legitimate are the spankings…
…while things get downright, uh, adult-filmographic when Terri Runnels rubs herself and jams her junk into Kat’s face.
In the year 2000, there were plenty of cheaper pay-per-view options for anyone wanting to see this kind of action…
…though few had the coveted Chef Boyardee sponsorship.
While the WWF had plenty of T&A matches at the time, this might be their first-ever P&A match.
Both the match and Jerry Lawler reach their climax when The Kat counters Terri’s st*nkface attempt…
…sending Terri’s head into the ref’s groin. Al Snow then throws in his mannequin head, which the Kat clubs Terri Runnels with…
…now that the ref is briefly out of commission. Not that it matters, because a disqualification would not be a thong st*nkface, which is the only way this match can end.
The Kat drags the helpless Terri Runnels to the corner, then, in perhaps the lewdest camera shot in WWF history, goatse’s herself (for added effectiveness)…
…and applies the match-winning maneuver.
Perry Saturn promptly collects Terri and walks back up the aisle…
…yelling at Al Snow that “that’s a bunch of bulls**t”. Hey, when you’re right, you’re right.
Al Snow celebrates by putting The Kat up on his shoulders, then in the ultimate swerve, tries to powerbomb her…
…before thinking better of it.
And you can’t prove otherwise.
Just like you can’t prove Al wasn’t simply helping Terri Runnels into the ring when he copped a feel on her.
Besides, the statute of limitations has run out.
It would be easy to say this match set women’s wrestling back, but at 3:07, this was the most time dedicated to women’s wrestling on PPV since the previous October!
It would also be easy to say that the “first-ever Thong St*nkface Match” was also the last ever, but that’s not true, either. There are actually thousands of nearly identical matches online…
…just not with so many people in the room.