Big news first: the new Death of WCW: 10th Anniversary Edition is NOW AVAILABLE. Not for pre-order; it’s shipping NOW. I will also have a few autographed books available to ship directly from WrestleCrap HQ, which will be available sometime in the near future. So check back if you are interested!
I’ve kinda beat y’all over the head with details on the book, so long story short:
– 40% larger than the original
– New embossed HARDCOVER edition available to go along with the paperback and Kindle versions
– Tons more backstage stories, quotes, etc..
– All new photos
Those are the highlights. If you liked the original, you will love this one. If you can’t wait for ones direct from me, well, don’t hesitate to head on over to Amazon by clicking here.
Now…one of my favorite quotes in the book was just an offhand one that we didn’t elaborate on more than stating this:
The December 13 show was also a booking lesson in how to kill off a top contender. They actually did an interview where Sid, the supposed top baby face, was so stupid he couldn’t find the arena. He kept calling in from his cell phone saying he was lost. “Guys, can you hear me?” he asked in at least three different segments. Clearly, nobody in the company ever learned that the one thing fans will absolutely not support is an idiot babyface.
What better way to celebrate the launch of the new book than to finally induct this fantastic angle?
Why it’s like I was saving it for such an occasion!
The show (Thunder, what else?) opens with a recap of Sid beating a dude up, yelling at him “GIVE ME THE KEYS!!!!” This would lead to another craptastic angle in which..what the heck, let’s go back to Nitro so we can cover this one too!
Sid was fresh off a win over “Above Average” Mike Sanders. Really, that was his nickname: “Above Average”. I guess he was more of a B- player. The match was so taxing that Sid wrestled the entire thing in a polo shirt and jeans, while Sanders worked it in dress slacks. Have to say, Sid was better dressed for a wrestling show. Had it been a job interview, I’d have gone with Sanders though.
After the match, Sid gives another fantastically cryptic promo. Most of the time with these interviews, I had at least some idea of what he was talking about. This time? No. Tony didn’t either, nor did Scott Hudson. Maybe you will by listening to it here. Or maybe Stevie Ray could write in and explain it to us. SUCKAS GOTS TO KNOW.
Backstage we go, as Sid finds someone…a cop? Perhaps a security guard, you may be thinking? Spoiler alert: I believe it’s a valet. Not like Big Poppa’s freak, Midajah…
…but rather a dude who parks cars.
The reason I’ve come to this conclusion is because Sid was screaming about wanting car keys. And yes, this gets us…
…Sid driving an SUV! And…
…Sid driving a mini-van!
These non-stop thrills lead us to discovering that Steiner has parked the cars in something vaguely resembling a circle. Why he did this? No clue. Regardless, Steiner comes out to fight him. And that leads to more comedy in the form of Sid’s legendary…
To recap: Sid stole a bunch of keys, drove cars into a circle, and then fought Steiner with a Whack-A-Mole style attack in the middle of them. In hindsight, the failure of WCW to film Sid matching up the keys to each car then strategically driving them into such a position to make an oval may be the cause of their demise. If we do a 20th Anniversary version of the book, I’ll be sure to make that correction.
This leads us to Thunder for the continuation of this blood feud for the WCW World Title. Sid is so furious with Steiner and wants him so badly that he isn’t even in the building at the start of the show.
No worries, though – we’ve got the big guy on the phone, which you can listen to without calling 1-900-909-9900 by clicking here! He explains to us that he’s on his way, but the traffic is a bit “messed up.” No worries, though, he’s only 10-15 minutes away. He also asks Tony to make sure he “keeps things on the shelf” and doesn’t let Steiner leave. A vignette of Schiavone attempting to block SCOTT STEINER from leaving may have also helped the company survive. Footage of Tony stocking shelves couldn’t have hurt either.
A half hour goes by in the show, and still no Sid. Instead, we get a match with Lex Luger against Dwayne Bruce. Excuse me, SARGE Dwayne Bruce.
Amazing to think that WCW was going down the tubes presenting thrillers such as this. And while the thought of a Sarge vs. Lex Luger match may not thrill you, I know what will – another call from Sid!
Sadly, he has not arrived yet, largely due to the fact that he is lost. No, really – that’s what the man said (listen to it here). He also explained that he is going to have to pull over and see if he can find someone to help him get to the arena.
Have to admit, a hero with a lack of any sense of direction is a character I’ve never seen in wrestling. Or any other form of entertainment ever, come to think of it. That’s probably because it’s a terrible idea. Never let it be said that such things ever really stopped WCW from charging headfirst into unchartered territory.
So the show continues…with Sid still driving around, possibly in a circle like my dog when she’s about to take a poop. In the meantime, we get such classic action as Kronik vs. Vito and Reno, DDP vs. our friend “Above Average.” If that wasn’t enough to keep viewers Kraggled to their TV sets, we also get Mike Tenay with one of his porn set interviews. Sadly for Mike, this time he’s got Shane Douglas instead of, say, Stacy Keibler.
But don’t you worry! As all this nonstop action is going on, we are treated to, yes…
…another call from Sid! Nearly two hours into the show, he still hasn’t found his way to the arena. We learn from this call that it is largely due to someone telling him to take a right at the McDonalds and a left at Wendys! If he shows up with a Big Mac and a Frosty, this will all be worthwhile.
Sadly, he doesn’t. Instead, he just shows up and has another crappy brawl with Steiner.
A brawl sadly lacking these.
Believe it or not, this was the final build up to the last Starrcade ever held. And while it may have led to another pitiful butyrate when the company could ill afford it, it did give us this:
And that’s something that will never fail to bring a smile to my face.
Love these stories of WCW’s ineptitude? Then pick up the new book! You can get autographed copies on the site in the near future or you can buy it direct from Amazon by clicking here.