Swear on my love for The Beatles (sans Stu Sutcliffe and Pete Best), this is the first induction that before writing up, I went and cleaned my toilet. I’m kind of a lollygagger when it comes to writing inductions so I figured scrubbing my “Elimination Chamber” would cheer and psych me up for this crappy gem that SHOCKINGLY has not been inducted yet.
Feuds involving non-wrestlers are kind of hit and miss. Managers mixing it up with each other can be fun if you have 2 good talkers and their wrestlers backing them up. But Managers mixing it up with ring announcers….another story entirely. Case in point:
There seemed to have always been uneasy non-sexual (whew!) tension between manager Harvey Wippleman and ring announcer Howard Finkel.
Howard would announce Harvey in a sarcastic tone (“Dr. Harvey Whipppplmaahhn!”), usually resulting in Harve snatching the mic away from Fink and making an empty threat.
This quiet dislike finally came to a head two years after Harvey’s WWF debut, at Wrestlemania X. Special Wrestlemania guest Cy Sperling, President of the Hair Club for Men (if you remember those commercials, you’re an old egyptian tana-leaves-drinking mummy like I am) fitted our pal Howard Finkel with a toupee.
I explained that so you won’t be shocked in the next clip when you see Howard with hair.
Anyways, it came time to let Harvey announce the entrance of Adam Bomb (who was a super awesome heel at this time). As Fink announced Harvey, Whippleman did his usual microphone-snatching but decided to go off on a tirade against Fink and the NY Yankees (clip this).
Hey c’mon now, that season hadn’t even started yet!
Fink stands by politely and takes the verbal abuse until Harvey rips his tuxedo.
Ripping a tuxedo?
Your medical license be damned, Whippleman…that’s going too far!
Then Fink shoves him clear across the ring.
Don’t be too impressed – Harvey isroughly the atomic weight of a peanut butter sandwich.
Still, to the Fink’s credit, we get thunderous applause.
This doesn’t amuse Adam Bomb, who comes out to defend his manager’s honor, which is more than he’s ever done (thanks, Groucho).
But Fink is saved in the nick of time by Wrestlecrap’s good friend EARTHQUAKE, who blindsides Adam Bomb and squashes him in 30 seconds.
For those of you who take issue with the fact that this was less than a fair fight because Adam was jumped from behind, fear not!
The good news is there is a rather decent rematch the next night on Monday Night Raw, coming to you from my old neck of the woods, the Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York.
The bad news is that Harvey and Fink’s feud continues as well. Harvey bothers Fink at ringside, prompting Vince to compare him to Madonna for her potty-mouthed tirade on David Letterman’s show.
Sadly, I think this is about as current as Vince will get.
Fink has had enough of Harvey and stands up….but nothing happens. You know why?
BECAUSE THEY DRAGGED THIS FEUD OUT FOR NINE MONTHS!!!
I’m so not kidding!!! There are MAIN EVENT feuds that don’t get that kind of build-up!!!
It finally culminated in a Tuxedo Match on an episode of Monday Night Raw.
Backing up for just a moment for those who aren’t familiar, tuxedo matches are generally used as a feud-ender for non-wrestlers, like Jim Cornette Vs. Paul E. Dangerously at the Great American Bash ’89.
Now if you want to see a GOOD tuxedo match, and I know it’s impossible to even fathom such a thing, this would be the one.
Well, good for two non-wrestler managers. In fact, it was the only match on the WWE Managers DVD that wasn’t a visual enema.
More tuxedo match history!
Did you know that no less than Steve Austin (yes, THAT Steve Austin, of Stone Cold fame) competed in one in 1994 in WCW against Johnny B. Badd.
I’m quite sure you won’t be seeing this little gem on Stone Cold September on WWE Classics On Demand anytime soon.
Oh, and if there are anymore ***** classic tuxedo matches, please…please don’t flood my inbox cause I really don’t give a good flip.
Anyways, onto the match at hand…
Vince says this particular show is the 2nd anniversary of Monday Night Raw and what better way to celebrate than 2 buttery men rolling around stripping each other?
I should note that joining Vince on commentary is none other than HBK Shawn Michaels, and he is quite humorous.
Seriously, when he retires from wrestling, he HAS to be made a color commentator. He is entertaining as Hell.
And I bet Vince wouldn’t yell at him through the headset!
Harvey has Well Dunn in his corner and Fink has The Bushwackers in HIS corner so I think this could be considered a fair fight. Fink wastes no time in rolling around with Harvey on the mat while Shawn wants to talk about The Tom Snyder Show but Vince quickly shushes him because he doesn’t want to miss a moment of the man on man action going on here.
You know, Vince, I really wonder about you sometimes.
And we get a nice close-up shot of Fink’s ass (thank you, Mr. Director), complete with the word “RAW” plastered on his pooper.
Where’s RJ Fletcher when you need him?
Why this is supposed to be funny, I haven’t the slightest idea.
This hahalarious gag is lost on the live crowd and the viewers at home. Not that I’m complaining at all.
Shawn notes the quads and hams. Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of Shawn Michaels on commentary.
Harv and Fink homo-erotically tear at one another’s threads as Shawn says he’s seen better chick fights.
This is true. Beulah and Francine cat-fights in ECW were more organized and thought out.
And Vince gets excited at the sight of Harvey’s boney, not there, trucker ass.
Like I said, I really have to question Vince’s sexual preference sometimes.
And here we have…we have…no.
No, I’m done.
RD, forget it. I can take no more.
(Note from RD: Unless you want me to get the Jake Roberts Heroes of Wrestling snake penis JPG out, I suggest you continue.)
Curse you, Deal.
But note: my eyes and heterosexuality have been raped.
I hope you can live with yourself, pal.
And apparently, Vince is also a sadist, because not only did we get this match, but we see Fink get his clothes ripped off again by Lillian Garcia, resulting in her becoming the permanent RAW ring announcer.
Well, for the time being, that is. Rumor has it that with Lillian’s imminent departure, Howard is on tap to once again become the lead ring announcer.
While I’m all for a guy who can get names, towns, and weights of the wrestlers right, I’m not sure I’m up for seeing Howard stripped to his BVD’s any time soon.
And rest assured, that’s something Vince would have in mind.
Vince McMahon: “Oh my goodness, ladies and gentlemen, we said it was Raw, uncut, uncensored, oh my goodness, but not this Raw!”
Shawn Michaels: “This is unbelievable. Look at the quads and the hams!”
Vince: “Wait a minute…Harvey can’t see!”
Shawn: “He’s probably better off!”
Vince: “We’d probably all be better off if we couldn’t see!”