High Energy

High Energy

Owen Hart in the late 80s was already making a reputation for himself as being one of the most talented in-ring competitors coming up in the wrestling world. The youngest member of wrestling’s famous Hart family from Calgary….Alberta, Canada (thank you, Lance), Owen wowed audiences in his father’s own Stampede Wrestling territory and became a superstar in Japan. Vince McMahon took notice of Owen’s high-flying wrestling talent and overseas star power, and decided to make him LOSE every match as the masked “Blue Blazer”. Owen, quite unhappy with this arrangement, decided to quit the WWF and strike out on his own on the indy circuit. He tried some matches in 1991 WCW but ultimately did not want to move his family to Atlanta, so when the WWF came calling again, Owen took the chance but once again found himself stuck in the lower card matches as Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart’s tag team partner in “The New Foundation”, trying somewhat weakly and carelessly to duplicate the notoriety of brother Bret’s successful tag team with Neidhart. This team of Owen and Anvil lasted until Jim Neidhart was gone from the WWF yet AGAIN.

With Neidhart gone, who could Owen possibly share checkered suspenders and fluorescent MC Hammer parachute pants with?

Just one man could fit the bill:

Have no fear, Koko B. Ware is here!

Yes siree, the Piledriver Birdman of Love Himself Koko B. Ware teamed with Owen Hart as HIGH ENERGY, which is a great name to get you all pumped up for some good ole WWF Wrestling Challenge-caliber action with such formidable opponents like these guys…

…and these guys.

Now there’s a jobber name – JOE MILANO.

Should I ever open up a greasy spoon fast food Italian joint, rest assured it will be called JOE MILANO’S.

(Note from RD: Not sure, but I would have sworn I saw Joe Milano frozen lasagne in the freezer aisle at the food mart last week.)

Of course, all this action paled in comparison to the real appeal of the act: grown men in the biggest taxi cab trousers you ever did see. Seriously, Yokozuna would have put those on and been like, “Damn these are big.”

Oh – and they flapped their arms like pigeons super glued to the ground.

BIRD BIRD BIRD!

In addition to squashing jobbers in 3 minutes at every TV taping and leading the audience into hypnotically imitatable dancing behavior, the Bird Bros. were also called upon to dress up as Santa Claus!

As you may have guessed, this was less a feel-good holiday moment with that announcer guy who looks like Joe Pedicino following gastric bypass surgery and more a chance to shilll…

SHILL!

SHILL!!!!!!

And what little boy wouldn’t want to find an ICOPRO shirt under the tree?

Sadly, they did not follow this up by attempting to unload that warehouse full of Hogan/Zeus WrestleMania VI t-shirts.

And here Owen shills his brother Bret’s merchandise.

Wait a minute.

Owen had to shill BRET’s stuff? Didn’t they have any High Energy hats (or better yet PANTS) to sell?

No wonder Owen turned on Bret.

Hey, look – it’s the Santa that RD met at the mall when he was a kid!

At least I think so…the beard is obstructing his face so really, it could be Jimmy “JJ” Walker under there.

(Note from RD: Rest assured my “Santa” did not scream “DYN-O-MITE!”

Which, come to think of it, was too bad – that would have RULED.)

Let’s see…other High Energy highlights.

Well.

Umm.

This is a tough one.

You’ll have to forgive me, but the best I can come up with is them teaming up with Tatanka (Buffalo!) against Money Inc. and The Model Rick Martel in a “Coliseum Video EXCLUSIVE!”

Sorry, guys – I tried!

In the end, High Energy was not long for the world. After losing to the Headshrinkers at Survivor Series 92, Owen would injure his knee, requiring some time off to heal. When he returned, Koko was gone from the WWF and Owen was left as a singles wrestler and at last was able to ascend to the level of superstardom in the WWF…and not have to shill IcoPro shirts.

Koko, meanwhile, returned in 1994 and was left in the lower card to job to heels like IRS and Jeff Jarrett…and not have to shill IcoPro shirts.

In the end, everyone came out a winner.

And in Koko’s case, a HALL OF FAMER!

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