Paul Orndorff was one of the biggest stars in all of pro wrestling for much of the 80’s. The self professed “Mr. Wonderful” did huge business in 1986 when he turned his back on Hulk Hogan in one of the greatest angles of all time. (So great, in fact, that when a girl would dump me or one of my buddies, we would say we got “Orndorffed”.) He headlined huge shows, including the “Big Event” in Toronto against Hogan, which drew around 70,000 fans.
The 1990’s weren’t quite as kind to Orndorff; after leaving the business for several years to run a bowling alley, he came back to WCW for one last run. Things weren’t going well, though, as he found himself floundering in the midcard. He didn’t think things could possibly get worse than teaming with Paul Roma as Pretty Wonderful, but they did.
So who did Orndorff turn to? If you guessed the Psychic Companion’s Network, you’d be correct!
Let’s backtrack a little bit. Mr. Wonderful had just had a pretty decent match with Randy Savage, but he came out on the short end of the stick.
He began to question his abilities, and wondered if he even deserved to be called Mr. Wonderful anymore…
Just as Orndorff was at his lowest point, in walks a guy with an SOS PAD ON HIS HEAD. Viewers at home probably had no idea who this was…
…but Orndorff sure did, and was delighted to see him. It was Gary Spivey, from the Psychic Companions’ Network! He explained to Orndorff that he sensed something was wrong with Mr. Wonderful.
He knew this because, you know, HE WAS A PSYCHIC.
Spivey and Orndorff sit down and have a heart to heart talk about his problems.
The Man with a Chia Pet for Hair tells Orndorff to look in the mirror, and say, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me.”
Oops, wrong show.
Actually, he convinces Paul that he is worthy of being called Mr. Wonderful.
After staring in the mirror for a while and reciting his mantra, Orndorff believes in himself again. Spivey departs, job well done.
Orndorff actually falls in love with himself, and begins kissing his reflection in the mirror.
He also wound up with a really terrible theme song, which, while not the worst theme song of all time, is damn close.
Spivey didn’t last long. Apparently, he looked into the present and saw fans and critics alike booing his pathetic performance. Despite disappearing from the wrestling scene, he is still visible to his legion of fans at his website, GarySpivey.com. Not only does Gary offer psychic readings over the phone, he also offers fabulous items in his gift shop, including…
…and, of course, thongs!
Mouse Pads!
Calendars!
Sadly, Gary’s visions had little effect on Mr. Wonderful, who retired shortly after Spivey’s first visit.