Say what you want about him (and Lord knows I have), but the one thing you really need to give Eric Bischoff is that he’s a tremendous performer. If I were a producer and I wanted to cast a pompous, d-bag bad guy, he’d be my top pick. There are those of you reading this no doubt saying “life imitates art”, but to be fair, when I talked to Eric backstage prior to our rope a dope he was absolutely fine and I had no issues with him at all.
All that said, he shouldn’t be beating people like the Young Bucks in a professional wrestling match. And yes, that actually did happen in TNA Impact Wrestling. May 19, 2011 if you don’t believe me and want to check it out.
At the time, Bischoff was a heel (I think) in the promotion, running around with a group called Immortal that featured the likes of other big names in the company like Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Jeff Jarrett, and others. And on this night, the “vanilla midgets’ (a term Bischoff actually used on air!) were going to get their asses kicked. Not only that, Bischoff was going to bust out his karate gi and do it himself!!
Yes, kids, Matt and Nick Jackson were in TNA. Obviously, they were much younger bucks at the time, to the point they hadn’t even adopted that name yet, instead going by Generation Me under the ring names of Max and Jeremy Buck. It’s so wild to see them here – funnier still to see that Matt even back then made wacky faces before the bell would ring. It may have been early in their careers, but the talent was undeniable.
Sadly they were about to run into a buzzsaw. A buzzsaw in KARATE FORM. A buzzsaw by the name of Eric Bischoff, who marched to the ring looking incredibly stoic and ready to fight the world.
So Eric and his partner Matt Hardy get in the ring and immediately the black belt decides he is ready to show what a tough guy he is. Looking for all the world like an ancient Hong Kong Phooey, Bischoff does a bit of shadow boxing before nearly popping Matt right in the schnozz.
Like I said, Eric is a great heel. You just can’t wait see these guys beat the crap out of him later in the match!
But first, we start off with Matt Hardy working with Nick. Yeah screw it, I’m just going to use their current ring names, sue me. I should also note this is Matt Hardy of 2011, not 2023, and he can still move around the ring pretty darn well, so we get some good action here.
We also get double team maneuvers that would become the trademark of the Bucks. Not sure what these particular moves are, despite having done my best research.
(And yes, they actually have diagrams of various moves in their book, Killing the Business.)
It doesn’t take long however for Hardy to get back in charge, putting his foe down with a side effect. Always loved that move. So simple but just looks really cool to me for some reason.
A neck crank follows as the tension builds for Eric’s inevitable comeuppance. This is such easy stuff – have Matt wear the guys down, then Eric comes in completely overconfident and gets beaten within an inch of his life. That never fails.
And the Bucks turn the tables with some more fun stuff. I know some folks hate the Bucks with a passion, but I am an unabashed fan. Just love watching these guys work.
We then get some Matt on Matt action, which is broken up when Eric kicks his foe in the head. And…MATT SELLS IT??!!
Matt mocks Hardy, but is quickly taken down with a vicious looking neck breaker. This is actually a pretty interesting match. I really need to hunt down the earliest Bucks-Hardys matches, I bet they were really good.
With Matt being unable to fell Hardy, it’s up to Nick to come in with some high flying offense. Unfortunately a super flippy doo off the top meets knees so he falls to the outside. Matt comes back in to turn the tide and is immediately trapped by Hardy in a wacky submission hold.
And finally…FINALLY…it’s time for Bischoff to come in, play tough guy, and have his teeth knocked down his throat. Eric plays it to the hilt, brushing his hair back, and going full Terry Silver. Channeling his inner strength, he prepares to unleash his martial artistry upon poor Matt Jackson.
Striking a pose, he spins and kicks Matt right upside the head as fans in the audience look on completely baffled. And then, just to make sure it looks really good…
…he kicks him again then rolls him over and pins him? Yes kids, you read that right.
ERIC BISCHOFF PINNED MATT JACKSON OF THE YOUNG BUCKS.
There was no comeuppance, Bischoff just came in and dominated the guy with a couple of kicks. Super kicks, you might say. All of this leads me to one conclusion: that $7.99 I’m paying a month for Impact’s archive access ain’t going to waste. Get ready kids – we’re just getting started!