“This is awesome!”
Clap clap-clap clap clap clap.
“This is awesome!”
Clap clap-clap clap clap clap.
“This is awesome!”
Clap clap-clap clap clap clap.
Amazingly enough, this is how the induction you are reading today got its start, with thousands of fans screaming their heads off, thrilled to be witness to what could have been, should have been, a watershed moment in wrestling. Instead, it wound up being a storyline that just missed winning the coveted 2015 Gooker Award by a mere 17 votes. It’s an amazing accomplishment on multiple levels. After all, most of the time when a character is introduced or a wrestling plot is presented to us, the hardcore types of wrestling fans who frequent this here site, you generally have a feel if it’s going to be good or bad. Certainly there are exceptions, many of them. But rarely in history had one gone so far south, so quickly.
In many ways, it is similar to the equally horrendous InVasion storyline, also a Gooker winner which you can read about here. As I recall, that one also had everyone enthralled at the onset, as Lance Storm jumped a barricade and super kicked Perry Saturn so hard it straightened his eyes. It’s been over fifteen years and I still remember that night like it was yesterday, with wild thoughts of all the great things it could have led to, the years of fun we all could have had.
Instead, it wound up a total disaster as the entire WCW crew had to be shoehorned into a more “WWE style” and thus lost everything that made them interesting and unique to begin with, and turned the focus from the wrestlers themselves to someone else, namely…
Yeah.
Her.
Sound familiar?
But again, it started out great.
Now sure, you may think that a Nikki Bella promo and the words “started out great” could never co-exist in the same sentence, but hear me out. Nikki came out to talk about how great she is in a manner that had one longing for someone, anyone, to come out and pummel her so she’d shut her yap.
What we got instead was Stephanie McMahon making that face.
If you’ve watched Raw for any length of time, you will note that is a face she often makes. Not sure if she’s had some work done or what exactly may be the issue, but I am pretty sure she is now capable of only two facial expressions: that one and…
…the rat sneer smile.
Really, Google “Stephanie McMahon smile” and see what you find. They all look like that. Anyway, she noted that there was a revolution happening in women’s sports such as soccer and tennis. Apparently prior to 2015, women were rank amateurs in these sports.
Well, except, you know, they weren’t.
This picture features one Billie Jean King. She is, as best I can tell, a woman, a woman who played against a man, Bobby Riggs, in a famous (and arguably revolutionary) tennis match dubbed “The Battle of the Sexes” that took place when I was four years old.
FOUR YEARS OLD.
And as noted many times, I am as old as Methuselah.
But hey, let’s throw that out the window, and instead focus back on Steph (she likes that) bringing out Paige…and then Becky Lynch…and Charlotte as well. Mere minutes later, we got Sasha Banks debuting on the main roster as well. As the new girls attacked the Bellas, there was but one thing the fans had to say:
THIS IS AWESOME!
Clap clap-clap clap clap clap!
And why were these fans chanting that? Simple: because Becky, Charlotte, and Sasha had been having all kinds of incredible matches in NXT. Anyone who had watched that show knew what these women were capable of, and they couldn’t wait to see them take it to the next level every Monday night.
But there was just one slight problem: Raw isn’t NXT.
For starters, in NXT, the women that were just brought in usually faced each other, and were generally given time to tell their stories in the ring.
On Raw?
Poor Becky had to attempt to have something watchable in 87 seconds against Tamina. Or Charlotte and Becky battle the Bellas in matches that were far from what had those fans so excited in the first place. It didn’t help that the women were crammed into three groups: Team Bella, Team PCB, and Team BAD.
Just writing those monikers makes me cringe; I know the WWE creative team ain’t top notch sometimes, but seriously, were those the BEST names they could possibly come up with? Legit sounds like something out of GLOW or perhaps the old AWA Team Challenge Series. And clumping them together, bringing them all out at once, really made it impossible to focus the spotlight on any one of these women so you could find out who they were and what they were all about.
Making matters far, far worse was while fans were being force-fed absolute crap on Raw, NXT was still featuring the women in long, awesome matches. And nothing better illustrated this than a mind blowing 48 hour period starting on August 21.
NXT had Takeover: Brooklyn that Saturday night and it featured a Women’s title match. Those last three words actually are a story in themselves: it wasn’t a DIVAS title match, it was a WOMEN’S title match. I know WWE is all weird about having their own terminology, be it “sports entertainment” or “superstars” or their desire to drive the word “belt” from the English language, but the term “Diva” is so overplayed and outdated it’s almost comical. I mean, remember up above where Steph talked about how there was a so called “revolution” featuring women? WWE won’t even call their female performers “women” at all. No no no, they have to be “Divas.”
Back to the title match. It was an absolutely incredible bout featuring Sasha taking on (It’s) Bayley and it tore the house down, an encounter so good that it finished as the best American pro wrestling match in the Wrestling Observer awards. Not the best women’s match, the best match in North America PERIOD. It featured not only great action, but a very fulfilling conclusion to a months long storyline wherein plucky Bayley was finally able to fulfill her dream of becoming champion.
And what did we get on Raw with the wome…err, DIVAS?
MizTV.
Really, MizTV. Not making this up. Nor am I making up the unfathomable garbage dialogue about how they didn’t want to fight and concluded with the girls giving each other pinkie promises. And then, in the capper, we had Nikki Bella come out and tell us, and I quote, “Wins, losses, who really cares?”
This 48 hours after Bayley was in TEARS after WINNING a match…in the SAME BUILDING!
There were a thousand other issues with this whole convoluted mess as it played out over the next several months, but one of my favorites was when Paige turned on Charlotte and Becky.
Yes, she turned on them on the September 21 episode of Raw. The following week, Charlotte and Becky appeared on yet another episode of MizTV (because the first one was such a hit!) and discussed Paige turning on them. Replays were shown of this break up. After commercial break, Team Bella came to the ring to take on…
…TEAM PCB! Yes, UNITED! And tagging each other in and out as if nothing were wrong. I mean, yes, they split up again later in the match, but seriously, this was one of the most idiotic things I’d seen in years.
I hate to be the crusty old timer, but let’s use this same logic back in 1986. Imagine the famous Hulk Hogan-Paul Orndorff turn.
We’d have gotten Hogan and Orndorff teaming up against Studd and Bundy…
…Orndorff turning against Hogan…
…and then just returning to his corner, waiting to make a tag.
I really hate this company sometimes.
But hey, don’t worry, the crack WWE announce crew is here to clobber us over the head telling us that women are new in sports or something, parrot the term “Divas Revolution” approximately 337 times per hour, and most importantly to remind us these women were given this shot due to the brains of…
Yeah.
Her.
It really was like the InVasion all over again the more I think about it.
Note to WWE: this is NOT something you want to strive to achieve. When you do, you will wind up as a Gooker front runner.
Again, not something you want to achieve.