Stamford, CT – After the positive feedback from reintroducing WCW’s iconic “Spin The Wheel, Make The Deal” on NXT, WWE officials have agreed to start using the wheel to make all of their decisions. WWE CEO Vince McMahon revealed the new contraption at a meeting this morning.
“The truth of the matter is, no matter what we do, we’ll always have one to two million viewers,” said McMahon. “It doesn’t matter what we put on. We could have Braun Stroman singing the entire score to the ‘H.M.S. Pinafore’ and we’d still get viewers. Why bother having these long creative meetings and countless rewrites? It’s so much easier to let the wheel decide for us.”
“Spin the wheel, make the deal! Spin the wheel, make the deal!” shouted all the writers and staff in unison.
“Spin the wheel! Spin the wheel!” implored WWE Executive Producer Kevin Dunn, sporting an eye patch for some reason.
Chief Branding Officer Stephanie McMahon grabbed wheel and spun it.
The writers pounding on the large oak conference table, chanting in excitement.
Tension grew as the jagged edges of the wheel clacked and clanged.
“The name of the next event will be… “Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200!” shouted McMahon.
The group roared with approval.
“Do you want another?” asked McMahon.
“Spin the wheel, make the deal! Spin the wheel, make the deal!” everyone chanted.
McMahon’s eyes gleamed with a hint of mad power as he gave the wheel a mighty spin. The room erupted in laughter when it finally stopped.
“For lunch, Kevin Dunn will eat…a coal miners glove!” laughed McMahon.
“Aw, no. Not again,” whined Dunn.
“Hope you brought you appetite!” said McMahon, placing an extra-large glove on a plate and serving it to Dunn.
Following the meeting, McMahon promoted the wheel to Executive Vice President.