Atlanta, GA – A group of enraged TBS SuperStation employees invaded AEW this week and took over flagship show “Dynamite.” The business battalion, upset over Jon Moxley and the Death Riders “seizing” the channel last week, invaded the wrestling company in a massive counter-attack.
Armed with offices supplies, the squadron of middle-management professionals stormed the ring, laying waste to anyone in their path. Beth from Accounting beat Yuka Sakazaki with a stack of printer paper while Jerry from the Analytics team whacked Satnam Singh with a wooden ruler. The AEW roster was no match for the combined powers of Pedro from Marketing and Alicia from Programming as they hit several devastating, paradigm-shifting finishers in quick succession.
“We are sick and tired of being sick and tired and it’s time for a change,” said Kathy from HR. “We’re here to put the “Super” back in SuperStation and if that means taking apart Dynamite piece by piece, then so be it. Boys, shut it down!”
Dozens of union workers poured down the entrance ramp and quickly dismantled the wrestling set. Some of the smaller wrestlers, like Leyla Hirsch and Josh Silver were packed up in boxes and shipped to TBS headquarters. Catering was quickly devoured and wrestling merchandise was replaced with shirts of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.
The Death Riders have yet to respond from the SuperStation’s counter-attack. Rumors are swirling that group leader Jon Moxley is still trying to finish Martin Scorsese’s “The Irishman” to find some good quotes for his reply.