Cleveland, OH – For the first time in recorded history, all wars and conflicts have ceased immediately. After the initial shock and confusion, experts have attributed the change to WWE Superstar Logan Paul losing the United States championship to LA Knight.
The unprecedented turn of events began shortly after SummerSlam ended on Saturday night. Warring nations and sworn enemies across the globe heard the news of Paul’s loss and laid down their arms. Crime rates and rent prices dropped precipitously.
Employment percentages and wages rose while the top 100 CEOS donated millions to charity. Even a double rainbow appeared in the sky early this morning.
The universal hatred for the controversial Paul was so overwhelming that his defeat brought millions of people together in celebration. People flooded the streets, singing and dancing with pure joy.
“We have not seen such a rapid shift to peace and prosperity ever,” said UN spokesman Stéphane Dujarric. “It seems almost every person on the planet disliked Logan Paul so much that his defeat shifted worldwide feelings and attitudes. We have one man to thank for this: LA Knight!”
World leaders are eager to have Logan Paul lose several more times to ensure the new social and political climate continues through next year