New Orleans, LA – With the Royal Rumble just a few days away, WWE Superstar is hard at work trying to finish a complicated Rube Goldberg machine to prevent his elimination.
Kofi Kingston’s dazzling saves in the Royal Rumble have become a hallmark of the annual event in recent years. From walking on his hands to bouncing on a chair, the former WWE champion’s creativity is something that fans look forward to every year. Along with his New Day partners Xavier Woods and Big E, Kofi Kingston has developed a chain-reaction style machine to save him when he is thrown over the top rope.
“We’ve been working hard these past couple of weeks and I think we’re almost done,” said Kingston backstage, tightening lug nuts on the contraption.
“The plan is, if Kofi goes over the top rope, he’ll hit a string that we’ll put around the outside of the ring. When that string breaks, it will cause pancakes to drop into a sizzling frying pan,” explained Woods.
“From there, a dog on a treadmill will start running to get the pancakes. The treadmill’s energy will be used to power a lightbulb. When they lightbulb gets hot enough, it will pop a balloon,” continued Big E.
“When the balloon pops, it will scare a goose which will then fly away,” added Kingston. “The goose will knock a bowling ball off the ring apron which will then roll into a carefully placed Casper mattress that you can get 10% off on if you use the code “NEWDAYROCKS”. If all goes well, I will land safely onto the mattress and stay in the Rumble.”
While the device is overly complex and the possibility of failure is very high, the New Day are keeping a positive outlook.
“Worse comes to worse, we’ll still have pancakes,” smiled Kofi Kingston.