London, UK – Newly crowned King Shinsuke Nakamura enacted his first ruling as WWE King by throwing Baron Corbin into the Tower of London.
By royal decree, and in agreement with the British government in exchange for a trio of WWE shows on their soil, Corbin was dragged extradited from the United States. Forced onto a plane and surrounded by guards, the former ‘Constable of Raw’ was placed in the famous prison. The historical castle, once the site of torture and executions, now serves as one of England’s most popular tourist attractions.
King Nakamura’s plans for his rival did not stop there.
“From this day forward, all the toilets in the kingdom shall be known as…corbins!” declared King Nakamura to thunderous applause from the Thunderdome. “Make him part of the tour.”
Officials have made Corbin a part of the festivities. Visitors can now take their picture with Corbin inside an iron maiden or stock. For an additional £2, people can kick Corbin in the rear end and loudly complain about all the Superstars who have been released instead of him.
The deposed Corbin is still adjusting to his new living arrangements.
“This stinks,” said a glum Corbin. “It’s damp, it’s cold, and they keep feeding me something called Toad In A Hole. Every night, Rick Bugez stands outside my cell and plays ‘Polly Wolly Doodle’ out of tune.
WWE officials have not said when they hope for Corbin’s release, stating “What’s a Baron Corbin?”