Indianapolis, IN – John Cena shocked the world Saturday by winning Royal Rumble.
The former multi-time WWE champion, who announced earlier this year that this would be his last run, was the odds-on favorite when the event began. Despite facing a number of legendary wrestlers, Cena was able to once again overcome the odds and triumph.
“It was rough out there, I’m not going to lie,” said an exhausted Cena after his huge win. “There were times when I didn’t think I was going to make it. Bodies were flying everywhere. By the end, my power meter was low. My eyes burned. My thumbs were sore. I could have just given up, but I knew the WWE Universe had my back and wanted to see me win.
Gathering up all his strength, the Doctor of Thuganomics furious tapped the B button on his controller. In quick succession, John Cena was able to toss Ric Flair, Tatanka, and Shawn Michaels over the top rope.
“It took me many years, but I finally won Royal Rumble again!” declared Cena, before quickly clarifying “…on the Super Nintendo.”