San Francisco, CA – WWE announced early Monday morning that Jimmy Uso has been chosen to be the spokesman for Gushers. The surprise announcement comes just days after World Heavyweight Champion bloodied Uso in front of his brother Jey on Monday Night Raw.
General Mills, owner of the fruit candy known for its liquid center, felt that Uso was the perfect representative following his savage beating at the hands of Gunther.
“We are very excited to work with Jimmy and the WWE on this new partnership,” said General Mills spokes man Frank N. Berry. “Jey has done such a great job with Slim Jim that we just had to work with someone from The Bloodline. And after his performance on Monday, Jimmy really showed us he had what it takes to represent Gushers.”
“When people think of Jimmy Uso, we want them to think of Gushers,” said Chief Branding officer Buc Wheats. “Our new tag line will be, “If you’re feeling Ucey, bite into something juicy!’ Pretty good, right?”
When asked to comment on his new gig, a still-anemic Jimmy say “Uggggggghhhhhhhh.”