Los Angeles, CA – AEW star Jack Perry cut a vicious promo late last night at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru on Colfax Drive. Earlier this week the former Jungle Boy has a serious promo video on Dynamite that was unceremoniously interrupted by a Taco Bell commercial. Perry took the accidental break personally and took his frustration out on the company.
“Hi, welcome to Taco Bell. How can I help you?” asked the chipper voice through the crackling speaker.
“Help me? Help me?!” shouted Perry rhetorically. “You can’t help me. No one can help me. I am the Scapegoat. An outcast. Fourth Meal? Ha! I don’t even get a first meal!”
Several cars idled behind the standing Perry as he continued his rant. Splashing a cup of Mountain Dew Baja Blast in his face, he continued.
“And how can I ‘Live Mas’ knowing that the world has turned their back on me?” lamented Perry. “You might think ‘Outside The Bun’, but people like me, we’re not even allowed to think that way. We’re pariahs. What hurts me the most, though, is that you refuse to bring back the Grilled Stuft Burrito. You are cowards like everybody else!”
Hungry patrons impatiently honked their horns and yelled at Jack Perry to get out of line.
“And what kind of sauce would you like?” asked the voice through the speaker.
“Uh, mild,” said Perry. “The hot stuff hurts my tummy.”
It is unclear if Jack Perry anything will come of this feud at All In in London or if Jack Perry will shift his focus to a local chain like Nando’s.