Decatur, IL – Former WWF Superstar Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS has been nominated for the post of Surgeon General of the United States.
Nominated by the president-elect, the controversial choice surprised wrestling fans and shocked medical experts. Yankem’s questionable health care practices over the years and less-than-stellar wrestling record have increased public concern.
“I’m at a floss for words! Braces yourselves! We’re really going to drill down on tooth care,” laughed the evil dentist. “We’re also going to take that bubblegum-flavored polish that doesn’t really taste like bubblegum and put that in the water. Really gum things up! Hahahaha!”
As the chief medical doctor and health educator for the country, Dr. Isaac Yankem has already broken from past Surgeons General by using a drill to drown out difficult questions. His method of spraying people he does not like with a Waterpik has drawn the ire of adults, children, and pets alike.
Any health concerns unrelated to tooth care will be answered via a tiny bag filled with a mini toothpaste, floss, and a business card for your next appointment.