Clearwater Beach, FL – WWE Hall Of Famer Hulk Hogan gave an inspiring speech this past Thursday at a Subway on Mandalay Avenue in Clearwater Beach.
The wrestling legend took command of the sandwich shop, letting loose with electrifying words and confident poses. All this, despite the fact, that no one was in the restaurant.
“Well, let me tell you something, Brother,” said Hogan to the empty room. “You’ve got you’re the Ultimate B.M.T in one hand, with delicious meats and veggies piled high. And don’t forget the Pepper Jack, Jack!”
“In the other hand, you’ve got a Subway Footlong Cookie!” declared Hogan proudly. “If you add chips and a drink, Dude, the Mega Powers of flavor are going to explode in your stomach!”
Hulk Hogan’s passionate exultations of Subway’s menu options rang out in the empty room. Not since Ken Patera fatefully visited McDonald’s has a professional wrestler left such an indelible mark on an empty fast-food establishment.
Dramatically ripping his shirt, Hogan continued.
“Whatcha gonna do when featured subs, No Bready Bowls, Pepperoni and Cheese Dippers, and Hulk Hogan run wild on your tastebuds?!” hollered the blender spokesman.
“Bollea, your break ended 5 minutes ago!” shouted the store’s manager. “Start cleaning up or you don’t get to take any of the leftover bread home!”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Sawchuk. Sorry, sir! It won’t happen again!” apologized Hogan, picking his shirt up off the floor before grabbing a broom to clean the store for the night.