Headlies: WWE Upsets Everyone With Chief Jay Strongbow Statue

1 Submitted by on Mon, 11 October 2021, 08:00

Pawhuska, OK – Controversy arose this morning as WWE dedicated a statue to former star Chief Jay Strongbow. The move has upset Native activists, Italian-Americans advocates, and wrestling fans alike.

A star in the WWWF, Chief Jay Strongbow was known for his colorful war bonnet and “tomahawk” chops. While not the most proficient mat technician, Strongbow was most famous for his Native American gimmick. In recent years, it has been revealed that Strongbow was not Native and was, in fact, Italian-American named Joseph Scarpa.

The six-foot-tall statue was placed in the town square, much to the surprise of local officials.

“No one told us this was going to happen,” said town council member Jeannie Wolfe. “Some fellas from WWE just showed up, plopped a statue down, and left. One of them mumbled something about ‘card subject to change’ and laughed.”

The move to give Strongbow a statue in his kayfabe home of Pawhuska, Oklahoma follows a number of controversial missteps by the company. Many have pointed out the misguided decision falls in line with the Fabulous Moolah Classic and the Warrior Award. Native, Italian, and Wrestling Americans released a joint statement condemning the statue and called for its removal.

“This statue dishonors us all,” read the statement. “While we may not agree on much, we are unified in the removal of this offensive and unnecessary monument to wrestling’s embarrassing past.”

The statement marks the first time the words “work-rate” and “drizzling shits” has been used in an official declaration.

WWE CEO Vince McMahon derided the outcry.

“What is wrong with you people?” growled a frustrated Vince McMahon. “Don’t you care about history?! You’re going to make Kevin Dunn cry! If you don’t like this, I can’t imagine what you’re going to think of the Kamala statue we’re sending over to deepest, darkest Africa.”

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
1 Response to "Headlies: WWE Upsets Everyone With Chief Jay Strongbow Statue"
  1. Raging_Demons says:

    Chief Jay Strongbow’s comments on the entire situation: How?

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