Headlies: Midnight Rose And Stubby Open An Illegal Casino In Paradise

2 Submitted by on Mon, 05 April 2021, 08:00

 

Topeka, KS – Wrestling legend Midnight Rose and lovable ragamuffin Stubby stumbled through the pearly gates. They shielded their eyes from the bright lights and surveyed the land.

“Wow, look at this place, man,” said Midnight Rose. “Real swanky. Everything’s so clean and smells really nice. Can you believe the guy up front didn’t even check our IDs?”

“Tell me about it,” laughed Stubby. “They’ve got plenty of clouds, but now that I’m here, they’ve got plenty of wood!”

The two walked around, getting a lay of the promised land, before setting up towards the back.

“This looks like a good spot,” said Midnight Rose, setting up a blackjack table and slot machines. “Keep an eye out for any pelicans or pineapples.”

“I haven’t seen this many angels since the time I found a Victoria’s Secret catalog in a truck stop bathroom outside Loogootee, Indiana!” exclaimed Stubby.

A crowd quickly formed around the makeshift casino. Replacing the gentle harp music was a mixture of music by KISS, Misfits, and Loverboy. Stubby encouraged people to pick the Queen Of Hearts in his fixed three-card monte game while Midnight Rose offered Jack and Colas, Godfather’s pizza, White Castle, Boo Berry cereal to roulette winners. They were soon joined by friends Angry Jim Ross, Nintendo John, “Iron” Mark Tyson, and BM Punk.

As the duo gained in popularity and brought joy to all those around them, a familiar and comforting voice uttered seventeen syllables:

Hey, time out real quick
Thank you for all of the laughs
We will miss you Blade

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
2 Responses to "Headlies: Midnight Rose And Stubby Open An Illegal Casino In Paradise"
  1. Alvin says:

    I didn’t even knew they were sick!

  2. Ben says:

    I’m glad that Stubby is doing ok. I heard that he was speechless when he found about Blade.

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