Headlies: JBL Promoted To Lead Annoyer

7 Submitted by on Mon, 15 June 2015, 08:00


Cleveland, OH – WWE officials announced today that current commentator John “Bradshaw” Leyfield has been promoted to the position of Lead Annoyer for episodes of Monday Night Raw and pay-per-views.

Layfield, better known by fans as JBL, wrestled for the company, amassing 24 championship title wins before settling into the commentator role in 2012. JBL’s persistence and tenacity was noticed by several higher-ups in the organization, especially Vince McMahon

“The promotion should come as no surprise to anyone watching WWE,” said McMahon. “JBL has been working very hard this year to be as annoying as possible. He takes what I say over the headphones and really cranks up the jerk-factor. Whether it’s pointing out the mistakes of his co-workers live on air or switching between heel and face, or just being unnecessarily loud, JBL has proved that he deserves this opportunity.”

“I deserve this and everything that comes to me!” shouted JBL. “I promise to be louder! I promise to get into more fights with Michael Cole! I promise to make references so obscure that Dave Meltzer will cry! I promise to shout ‘Uce! Oh!’ at inappropriate moments! This is the greatest day in our sport’s history!”

Former Lead Annoyer Michael Cole congratulated JBL on the promotion. “I’m glad to have been annoying for so long. I know that I’m passing the torch to someone that has earned it in every possible way imaginable.”

Fellow announcer Byron Saxton has already taken a cue from JBL’s commentating style and has started to speak using his big boy voice.

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
7 Responses to "Headlies: JBL Promoted To Lead Annoyer"
  1. John C says:

    JBL then mentioned this was the greatest moment in WWE history since the time Tony Parisi & Louis Cerdan held the tag team championships. A sinister looking Michael Cole could be seen standing in the background with a half smirk on his face he said under his breath, “Enjoy the moment now but once I claim the Infinity Stones I will reclaim what’s rightfully mine. Ha Ha Ha, vintage Loki.” Cole was last scene retreating to his Cole Mine on The Colecycle.

  2. Bone White says:

    “big boy voice” hee hee

  3. Andre R. says:

    Bleeech, I can’t stand Byron. He is so soft-spoken and uncharismatic. How’d he even get his job, anyway?

  4. Porter "Budsgrand" Sultzbaugh says:

    JBL deserves to be in the Hall Of Fame. If for nothing else, starting the “Tribute To The Troops” tradition.

    But to have fun, let’s have Heath Slater induct him, Slater could say he is the best “tag team specialist” ever. Then JBL rushes the stage, clothesline from hell, and takes his plaque.

    JBL gives his speech, then Ron Simmons comes out, (wait for it) says “DAMN!” and the two of them close the segment celebrating.

  5. 80's Guy says:

    Just dropping by to say I got my Hulk Hogan Thunder Mixer from Ebay. Why? I collect random, oddball wrestling items when I can.

    Really would like to snag an Ultimate Grill someday. Which is funny because I have disliked Hogan since the 80’s. Go figure.

  6. BaltoJim says:

    They say the best wrestlers take their own personality and greatly exaggerate it. JBL doesn’t have to exaggerate a thing.

  7. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Some sources are surprised about this, one going as far as stating, “How can anybody be more annoying than Nipple H? Every time I hear that wretched woman’s voice I wan to pick up the TV and ram it down her throat!”

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