Pertha, AU – After this weekend’s Elimination Chamber event in Perth, Australia’s Parliament placed WWE Superstar Dominik Mysterio in custody. The Judgement Day member was brought before the elected officials where he was found guilty of being Dominik Mysterio and was booted directly on the behind.
“Being Dominik Mysterio is a bootable offense,” explained Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. “Just look at that face. That haircut. I’d boot that derro myself if I could.”
Standing before Parliament, Mysterio tried to defend himself. Unfortunately, every time he tried to speak, members would boo and hiss. Unable to properly defend himself, the show trial was quickly ended and punishment was meted out.
Bailiffs held Mysterio as Secretary of the Department of Defence Greg Moriarty put on a comically large boot. Moriarty raised his leg and, with impressive force, kicked Dominik squarely on the backside. The son of Rey Mysterio burst into tears, needing to be carried out by his mami, Rhea Ripley.
Other government officials have requested WWE hold events in their country with the hope of doing the same to Mysterio.