Minneapolis, MN – Early yesterday morning, all clocks officially moved ahead to Tiffy Time, marking the true beginning of Wrestlemania season.
“Daylight Savings Time is an antiquated and, frankly, boring way of dealing with time,” said International Time Zone coordinator Fritz Strohl. “Time coordination needs to move into the 21st Century. It needs some pizzazz, some style. WWE Women’s Champion Tiffany Stratton has made time cool again and what better way to celebrate this accomplishment than by advancing the clocks to Tiffy Time?”
The move to a new wrestler-based time is not unprecedented. In the late 80’s and early 90’s, “Vader Time” was used throughout many parts of the American South and Mountain region.
Despite the enthusiasm for the change, people are still adjusting to Tiffy Time.
“I’m an hour late for work! Toodles!” said 58-year-old plumber Walt Kapowski, sporting hot pink coveralls.
“Lip filler!” giggled 4th grader Cassie Streicher as she cartwheeled to class.
“Put some respect on my name!” yelled Dirk Oakes to a police officer giving him a bedazzled parking ticket.
Stratton is hoping to use the time shift to her advantage in her Wrestlemania match against Charlotte Flair.
“Charlotte will have to wrestle on my time,” said Stratton. “Maybe that means the match starts early. Maybe the match starts late. Maybe I’ll just wait long enough for her to get hurt again and declare it a forfeit. Tee-hee!”