If you’re like me, you love to read stupid reviews of stupid things. And what better place could you find such nonsense than an OFFICIAL WWF Magazine from nearly thirty years ago? It’s a column entitled “That’s Entertain-MAT.” How Russo didn’t throw out his back coming up with that title is beyond me. Anyhoo, today we’re going to get not just a book review, not just a movie review (well, REVUE per the text), but also an album review as well! Let’s have at it!
We kick things off with a book review by Bob Backlund who introduces us to his favorite tome ever: the dictionary. Mr. Backlund explains to us that it is the most valuable book in the entire world and that he read it to his daughter when she was born. I like to picture him as his wife was up in the stirrups pushing that child out and screaming at the womb the following:
Jerry Lawler joins us as well, reviewing the movie Casper, which I guarantee he has never seen in his life. I mean, I haven’t either, but just guessing Jerry has better stuff to occupy his time if lowly RD Reynolds does as well. But “Jerry” theorizes that the movie is actually just Universal ripping off The Undertaker gimmick, specifically noting that two of the characters in the film are named Stretch and Fatso, which I guess would be Taker and Paul Bearer. Oh NOW I get it. He then puts over Beetlejuice. The movie, not the wrestler. Wait, that was The Juicer. Sorry, this article is making my brain hurt and you all have to deal with that now as well.
Finally we get a review of the Jeff Jarrett’s “Ain’t I Great!” by Man Mountain Rock. Amazingly, he puts over Jarrett noting, and I quote, “Great registration, great tone, incredible ear. Double J got it going on!” These were actual words printed in an actual magazine that was actually purchased by actual people. People like me and you. Sure you may not WANT to admit it, but you know you did. Heck, I still have the thing in my closet for safe keeping! And yes THIS may be the first appearance ever of the infamous MMR shrug image that I’ve used on this site approximately ten trillion times since I first discovered it. Just try to tell me that’s not worth the $3.95 we pulled from our pockets!