As much as we loved having Vince Russo as part of WrestleCrap.com with his “What Didn’t You Understand, BRO?” series, it wasn’t long for this world as the dude was just too busy with other commitments. I mean, >>I<< loved those columns at least. I understand other folks were not so enamored. During that run what I found especially entertaining is that so many people would just rail about his penchant for CAPITALIZING words or sometimes even entire sentences. ENTIRE SENTENCES, BRO! Y’all act like this is something new when that’s been his writing style for like thirty years, as is demonstrated rightchere in the August 1996 issue of WWF Magazine!
Entitled “Comments, Questions, and Gossip” (and served up in a Doink the Clown font!), it served as your pathway for “Interactin’ with the World Wrestle Federation.” And as I continue to quote, “Spill your ideas, and voice your opinions – WE WANT TO HEAR ‘EM!” See, ALL CAPS. My hands almost instinctively wrote BRO at the end of that sentence. And if you had any doubts about who was at the helm here, well, it says you can WRITE to the magazine and who is that in care of? Vince Russo, Editor!
We get a double letter submission to start with Alvin and Twyla writing in about Diana Smith. You may recall Diana was Davey Boy’s wife, with the storyline being a potential romantic link with Shawn Michaels. These readers absolutely dog on poor Diana’s looks, and your WWF magazine editor was having none of it, advising them to relax and have a cream soda. (RD suggests a Barq’s Red Cream btw.). Vince continues on telling them “DO SOMETHING!!!! As of press time, there has been no proof – WHATSOEVER – that the British Bulldog and Diana Smith are lying about the “alleged” indecent behavior of the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. Maybe this is all a James E. Cornette master plan – WHO KNOWS? – only time will tell.” So not only did the ALL CAPS thing go way back, so too the issues with Jim Cornette. Who knew?
After this we get a history lesson (and also a wacky drawing of the Ultimate Warrior), then a letter from Brock Strickland who rightly explains that Bret Hart was screwed at WrestleMania when he and Shawn went to a draw and he was forced out of nowhere to defend the title in overtime. It’s at this point my pal goes on an ALL OUT CAPS ATTACK! “BUT WAIT A MINUTE!!!! STEPHANIE HAS THEM AS A TAG TEAM IN THE NEXT LETTER!!!! Well, as they say, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE WORLD WRESTLE FEDERATION!” See, been that way forever. I also love that he sneaks in not only a Batman and Robin reference to wrap things up, but also a Ding Dongs one as well! How on earth anyone can hate this man is beyond my comprehension. If nothing else, you can’t say he changes. HE’S ALWAYS LOVED HIS CAPS LOCK KEY BRO!