It Came From YouTube

Hacksaw Jim Duggan was one of the most patriotic wrestlers of the past 40 years. He could get a crowd going with a good “USA!” chant and he would frequently wave Old Glory to and from the ring. Sure, there was the little run joining Team Canada in WCW, but, like most late-stage WCW things, that’s best forgotten.

It’s only natural that Duggan would cut a promo on Independence Day. It is a little weird though that he does it as King Hacksaw, though. Isn’t Independence Day about declaring our independence from, y’know, a king? Where’s Jesse Ventura to call it like he sees it for something like this?

It doesn’t seem to bother Hillbilly Jim and his lucky horseshoe, so I guess we can let it slide.

Gosh, the pizza at Wick’s Pizza must be full of flavor if the World’s Strong Man, Mark Henry, struggles to lift it. It’s just so full of delicious toppings and cheese. And what’s that I hear? Is that a certain Louisville Lip announcing Henry devouring a slice like Howard Cosell? Delightful and delicious.

Need something for lunch, but can’t decide? How about some Bernatello’s frozen pizza? If it’s good enough for AWA star Baron von Raschke, then it’s good enough for you. Look, I don’t want to get a Claw to the face, so just chew and smile until he goes away. Don’t even heat it up. Don’t ask why we’re in the Baron’s humble suburban home. Just eat it. Eat it now!

It’s true! It’s true! Former WWE and TNA champion (oh, and gold medal winner) Kurt Angle was in a commercial for Pizza Outlet. Mmm, mmm! Doesn’t that name for a pizza joint just make your mouth water? If that doesn’t whet your appetite, how about computerized nightmare vegetables wrestling over your dinner? Yum!

Jim Cornette is a very opinionated man. Whether you love him or hate him, he does not shy away from letting his thoughts be known, even if it’s for something as simple as pizza. Well, the folks over at Wick’s Pizza must be doing something right cause Corny hypes them up like the next big pay-per-view.

It must be good because Corny doesn’t curse anyone out or threaten anyone with a baseball bat. A slice of tie-dye cheesecake sounds real good right about now.