Jordan Mishkin, Author at WrestleCrap - The Very Worst of Pro Wrestling! - Page 3 of 16 Archive | WrestleCrap

Headlies: Kairi Sane Joins Jethro Tull

5 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 25 May 2020, 08:00

Orlando, FL – WWE Superstar Kairi Sane has officially joined British classic rock band Jethro Tull as their new flutist. At last Monday’s Raw, Sane honored her friend Asuka’s WWE Raw Women’s Championship coronation with a beautiful flute solo. Though it was interrupted by Nia Jax, the brief concert did not go unnoticed in the music world. “She really was Continue Reading...

Headlies: Fans Cursed With Seven More Years Of Baron Corbin

7 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 18 May 2020, 08:00

Stamford, CT – Tragic news hit the WWE Universe last Sunday during the Money In The Bank Match as fans came to the horrifying realization that they would be stuck with Baron Corbin for seven more years. The disturbing news followed after Corbin broke a mirror in the gym at Titan Tower during the event. In the mad dash for Continue Reading...

Headlies: Otis Gets Middle Management Job After Money In The Bank Match

2 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 11 May 2020, 08:00

Stamford, CT – After obtaining the Money In The Bank Briefcase, WWE Superstar Otis Dozovic ended up gaining a new job in WWE’s corporate office. The beloved Superstar raced through Titan Tower along with Rey Mysterio, Baron Corbin, Aleister Black, AJ Styles, and Daniel Bryan in order to win the Money In The Bank briefcase. The battle spilled throughout WWE’s Continue Reading...

Headlies: Parts Unknown Extends Lockdown

5 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 04 May 2020, 08:00

Parts Unknown – The residents of Parts Unknown must continue their lockdown for another two months, according to instructions by the local government. Parts Unknown, which exists outside time and space, has been a refuge for masked, face-painted, and generally weird professional wrestlers for decades. This mysterious land serves as a home for such grapplers as The Ultimate Warrior, The Continue Reading...

Headlies: Gronk Returns Half-Eaten WWE 24/7 Championship

2 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 27 April 2020, 08:00

Winter Park, FL – Rob “Gronk” Gronkowski was forced to relinquish the 24/7 championship this morning to WWE CEO Vince McMahon. Gronk, who recently rejoined the NFL as a member of the Tamp Bay Buccaneers, acknowledged the difficult decision to give up the belt. “I just want to say ‘Thank you’ to WWE and to Mr. McMahon,” said Gronk, tears Continue Reading...