About: Jordan Mishkin

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.

Recent Posts by Jordan Mishkin

Headlies: Cameron Grimes Launches New “Grimes Dimes” Cryptocurrency

1 Submitted by on Mon, 21 June 2021, 08:00
Miami, FL – Following in AEW wrestler MJF’s footsteps, NXT star Cameron Grimes has started his own cryptocurrency. “I heard this thing on the internet about some sort of Crypt Keeper currency and knew I had to get in on that,” said Grimes aboard his yacht. “You ever see that Crypt Keeper, fella? Man, he is one spooky scary skeleton. Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Even Chucky Thinks Alexa Bliss’s Doll Lilly Is Ridiculous

1 Submitted by on Mon, 14 June 2021, 08:00
Hollywood, CA – Killer doll and former WCW alumni Chucky spoke out recently condemning Alexa Bliss’s magical doll Lilly. The serial killer-possessed “Good Guy” doll expressed his disgust in a Youtube video from his Power Wheels. “We may be magical, killer dolls, but we have our dignity,” said Chucky. “Hollywood has a long history with murderous marionettes. Whether it’s Annabelle, Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Braun Strowman Trains To Become A Train

6 Submitted by on Mon, 07 June 2021, 08:00
Boston, MA – Following his release, former WWE Superstar Braun Strowman has found a new passion and has committed himself to becoming an actual train. The recently-fired wrestler appeared early this morning at the Amtrak Southampton Rail Yard. Stunned onlookers gawked as the former Universal Champion ran up and down the tracks. Crowds gasped as the strongman pulled cars full Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Gross Noise Machine Announced As Lead Raw Announcer

6 Submitted by on Mon, 31 May 2021, 08:00
Stamford, CT – WWE officials revealed over the weekend that a noise making device will now be the lead announcer of Monday Night Raw. Following the firings of Adnan Virk and Tom Phillips, WWE CEO Vince McMahon quickly filled the void with his hand-picked choice. The machine, purchased by McMahon after receiving a billion dollars from NBC, emanates various bodily Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Zombies Give The Miz 1-Star On Yelp

6 Submitted by on Mon, 24 May 2021, 08:00
Tampa, FL- The zombie lumberjacks that ate WWE Superstar The Miz at Backlash last week have given the wrestler a less-than-awesome review. Disappointed ghouls flooded the business-reviewing website Yelp.com with 1-star reviews following the devouring of the former WWE champion. Many complained of poor taste, bad service, and unpleasant ambiance. “Too much hair gel,” groaned one review. “Terrible service. Struggled Continue Reading...
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