WWF Raw – June 22nd, 1998 – Frank Irwin Center – Austin, TX
Highlights air of last week’s Hell in a Cell quasi-match to kick off WWF Raw. Tonight, Paul Bearer comes to us live via satellite from his home. The fat man nervously shakes his remote control as he awaits his son Kane’s first public words.
Too much God, and not enough ska! It’s time for WWF Raw.
Tonight, WWF Raw comes to us taped from Austin, Texas, which the announcers actually acknowledge for a change (the location, not the fact that it’s taped). If you’re wondering why I’m saying “WWF Raw” so much, it’s that I have to say “WWF Raw” a certain number of times per article when the keyword is “WWF Raw”, or Google doesn’t like it.
With the Cell hanging ominously above the ring, Vince McMahon comes to the ring and introduces Kane, the next WWF Champion. McMahon promises that Sunday night will be the greatest day of Kane’s life, when he can put behind the “excess baggage” he has “carried into manhood”. It sounds like he has a case of hydrocele.
Vince McMahon announces that Kane’s match with Austin will be a first for the WWF: a First Blood match. To win, you must draw first blood on your opponent. Not make him bleed, mind you, as the word “bleed” appears to be verboten. In addition to that stipulation, Kane has added another clause, which he relays via an electronic vocal aid: should he lose, he will set himself on fire. At home, Paul Bearer flips out (while watching WWF Raw).
If I could go back in time and create video packages for old WWF matches…#xtc#wwe#attitudeera#kanepic.twitter.com/7TuWx0cvew
— Art O’Donnell (@Art0Donnell) July 21, 2017
Tonight, number-one contenders Kane and Mankind will face tag champions Road Dogg and Billy Gunn respectively. There’s no point in scheduling the tag title match just yet, though, as Kane may be dead after Sunday.
In the first round of the King of the Ring tournament (ignoring those eight other matches from the past few weeks), Ken Shamrock faces Mark Henry. The Rock arrives in white shorts and loafers but, like the rest of the Nation, he gets ejected by Slaughter and the referees. WWF Raw goes to break while order is restored.
D-Generation X: The Home Video is now on sale for $14.95 plus $4 shipping and handling and promises stuff they couldn’t show on TV. For instance, you can hear Triple H say f****t uncensored. DX has got two words for you: Home video!
When WWF Raw returns, Jim Ross is in disbelief that Kane will set himself on fire if he doesn’t win the title on Saturday. “Sunday”, he corrects himself, fortunately, as Kane will definitely not win the title on Saturday. Ross wonders how Steve Austin could possibly make Kane bleed—excuse me, draw first blood—when the monster wears a leather mask.
Mark Henry wears Shamrock down with bearhugs until Ken hits him with a huracanrana. Henry scrambles to the outside, where Vader runs down and hits him with a standing splash. A dazed Mark Henry re-enters the ring, where Shamrock pins him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Ken will therefore face the winner of Jeff Jarrett vs. Marc Mero. Shamrock, who seems to have lost a tooth somewhere along the way, vows to Kevin Kelly that he’ll win the tournament.
D-X has trouble filming a decent Super Soaker, with Billy Gunn repeatedly mixing in the mottos of other products like American Express and Mentos. This sets the director off, leading the outlaws and X-Pac to spray the guy, as well as another stagehand who reads the ad copy correctly.
Edge, who debuts tonight, appears in the audience as Dustin Runnels kneels in prayer. The former Goldust faces X-Pac, to whom he offers a handshake. Instead, X-Pac executes a crotch chop to Dustin’s disappointment. X-Pac kicks Runnels around until Dustin catches and crotches him on the top rope. After X-Pac drives Runnels to the outside, Chyna blindsides him. The much-lighter X-Pac nonetheless puts all his body weight on Runnels with chinlocks until Runnels fights out and, to the surprising approval of the crowd, slams X-Pac’s head to the mat.
The announcers comment on what a big upset it would be for Runnels to defeat X-Pac, despite X-Pac wrestled only one other match since returning to the WWF (and losing it by countout). But there will be no upset; Chyna distracts Dustin before X-Pac pins him with a heel kick. As Triple H walks down to celebrate, Runnels offers another handshake to X-Pac, who once again tells him to suck it.
Jim Ross speaks to Paul Bearer, asking about Kane’s threats of self-immolation. Bearer says it won’t come to that, because Kane will win with his father by his side.
Jerry Lawler, who accuses Al Snow of dressing like an old lady tonight to sneak into the arena and find him, cuts to the chase and invites him into the ring. Sure enough, Snow arrives in drag with Head, who wears the King’s crown. Jerry Lawler says everybody likes a little Head, but he doesn’t like this one. Jeez, the charges were less than five years ago, King.
To prove they’re live, we cut to Paul Bearer watching the segment from his couch—at WWE’s patented weird viewing angle. Bearer appears to be seated at a 110 degree angle from the TV.
Back in Texas, Jerry Lawler offers Snow a piece of paper in exchange for his crown. Head, unfortunately, is reluctant to give it back. Snow accuses Head of kleptomania, which is why they’re not allowed at Wal-Mart. Prophetic. The contract, signed by Vince McMahon himself, is for a tag match with Snow and Head against Too Much, and Snow’s team must win to get an appointment. Snow lies down to get pinned (despite Lawler specifically stating that if Snow loses, he’s done). This draws out Too Much; Snow beats up Taylor and Christopher with Head, then jumps the guard rail.
Marc Mero, with his main squeeze Jacqueline, faces Jeff Jarrett, with Tennessee Lee (who is not his main squeeze, or even his secondary one). Jim Ross plugs a set of August dates in Kansas City, MO; Moline, IL; and Columbia, MO. He also mentions an event with the Titantron and “over 40 superstars” in State College, PA in just eight days (in other words, a taped WWF Raw).
While all this is going on, the two heels wrestle to the fans’ general apathy. Jarrett tries to crotch Mero on the tope but instead snaps his leg against it. The crowd pops for Jacqueline tripping Jarrett and going at it verbally with Tennessee Lee; while the referee is distracted with that, Mero hits Jarrett low, then with the TKO. Still distracted, the referee doesn’t see Mero’s cover. Sable then walks down the ramp, causing the men in the crowd once more to pop (cheer). Jarrett turns a distracted Mero around, DDTs him, and pins the Marvelous One to advance to the semi-finals.
Speaking with Kevin Kelly post-match, Jarrett says he’s going to win the King of the Ring. But didn’t he hear Ken Shamrock say he’s going to do the same thing? They’re sending mixed messages, folks!
The Cinna-Burst Rewind is Stone Cold’s brawl with Kane atop the Cell last week.
Road Dogg (with B.A Billy Gunn [sic]) comes to the ring, introducing his partner as one of the best-looking men with the best body. Gunn then tells the non-DX fans to suck it. As Kane arrives, the announcers reiterate his promise to set himself on fire and breathe his last breath should he lose. I see they’ve all agreed on “breathe his last breath” rather than “kill himself” or “die”. Fair enough.
As WWF Raw goes to its second hour, Billy Gunn gets sent backstage, while the announcers speculate whose idea the first blood and self-immolation stipulations: Kane or Vince McMahon? Kane dominates the early moments of the match until Road Dogg does his punches, then clotheslines Kane over the top rope. As the big man lands on his feet, Jim Ross puts over the protective powers of his mask. Kane, who even with his giant lifts stands only a few inches taller than Road Dogg, goozles the Outlaw, who escapes with a kick to the groin. Kane is undeterred and chokeslams Dogg, then tombstones him for the victory.
Jim Ross talks to Paul Bearer, who now appears on the Titantron, filmed at a different angle, and with his bandage noticeably looser than before. The lights flicker, a woman screams, and The Undertaker bursts in. The Dead Man pummels Bearer and knocks over furniture until the feed cuts out.
When WWF Raw returns, a replay airs of The Undertaker’s home invasion. It seems Bearer had re-arranged his sofa before Taker arrived, as it faced the TV head-on this time.
“You think you know me?” asks Edge’s voice-over woman, who probably did not collect royalties for the use of her voice over the next 20+ years. Edge, the “tortured soul” seen beating up random people on the streets, is described as a “tortured soul”. He walks through the crowd to meet José Estrada in a heavily clipped match. Edge spears Estrada in the middle of the ring, before teleporting into the corner between camera cuts. Edge then dropkicks José to the outside, which he follows up with a somersault plancha. Jim Ross praises “The Edge”, who waits in the ring to earn a countout victory. Total match time: 67 seconds.
Estrada, who injured his neck on that move, is attended by referees. Jerry Lawler notes that Edge hit his right leg square on top of Estrada’s head rather than straddling it. My question is, if this match was cut short but edited down even further in post-production, how bad was the part they cut out?
As soon as the announcers confirm Estrada’s hands and legs are moving, the production truck cuts to the locker room, where Kane is having a fit. The big guy knocks over furniture, then uses his electronic vocal aid to scream. That last part sounds like a joke, but it’s true. As Mankind comforts Kane, he continues jamming his device into his throat to say the electronic equivalent of “Aaaah!”
WWF Raw returns with a replay of José Estrada being carted off. Contrary to popular belief (or my belief, anyway), Estrada would be back wrestling in a few months, wrestling a six-man match on Heat in October.
Dan Severn faces Owen Hart, whom a fan urges (despite a spelling error) to leave the Nation because he’s not Black. He’s not? Is the rest of the Nation Black? I hadn’t noticed, as I don’t see color. During the entrances, Jim Ross announces a number of changes to upcoming WWF dates.
Hart and Severn start off with amateur wrestling (with the odd Irish whip, spear, or chokehold thrown in). Severn gives Hart a belly-to-back suplex, also an MMA move, but Owen responds with a fisherman’s suplex (which is not). Owen brings a chair into the ring, which Severn wrestles away, creating a distraction with the ref. In the meantime, Owen takes a breather outside, where X-Pac promptly smashes him in the back of the head with another chair. Severn wins with a stretch, and the rest of the Nation runs in to check on Owen, who is bleeding (or “has a laceration”).
The JVC Kaboom! of the Week is the chair shot we just saw.
In the ring, The Rock challenges DX to smell what he’s cooking, and also to fight The Nation. DX rush down the ramp as their music plays, but officials separate the two factions before another commercial break.
Back on WWF Raw, DX’s music plays again, and just Triple H and Chyna come down. Rocky hits Hunter from behind and controls the match until Hunter hits a neckbreaker. Jerry Lawler, who has apparently never seen a First Blood match (despite having won such a match in 1985), asks Jim Ross whether it’s gruesome. Considering that normal matches don’t stop just because there’s blood, the match at King of the Ring should actually be less gruesome than some of their other matches, like last year’s Hell in a Cell or Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin. That is, unless, Kane loses and has to set himself on fire.
The Rock takes back control with a DDT and chops his crotch at Chyna. He delivers the People’s Elbow, which Jim Ross describes as both artistic and aggressive. After Rock backs HHH in a corner, he chops his crotch again, firing up the DX leader, who fights back and chops his own crotch. Rocky sends Hunter out of the ring and issues a retaliatory crotch chop, but Chyna sneaks in and, rather than hitting him low, turns him around for a DDT. The Rock, however, kicks out of Triple H’s pin.
The Rock puts Hunter in a sleeperhold as Chyna waits outside with Triple H’s European title belt. When Chyna tries to hit Rock with it, the referee makes her get down from the apron. With the ref distracted, Rocky hits the reigning King of the Ring in his crown jewels. Rocky wins with a fisherman’s suplex, advancing to the PPV to face Dan Severn. DX rushes down to put the boots to The Rock, which brings The Nation to the ring for a pull-apart brawl.
Back in the locker room, Kane is still attempting to scream with his voice gadget. Mankind, consoling Kane, says he’ll bring him to Uncle Paul. But first, he must face, in JR’s words, Billy Bad Ass.
A promo airs for the King of the Ring pay-per-view, where Mankind says, “What he calls hell, I call home. Can he beat the Undertaker in the Home in a Cell match?
Back on WWF Raw, Mankind sits in the ring with his Laura Palmer’s Theme-esque entrance music playing. He talks about an old photo of Northern and Southern soldiers shaking hands at Gettysburg 50 years later, and that he’d figured he and Undertaker would end up the same way. Instead, he vows to urinate on his grave. As he speaks, the cell lowers down to the floor.
The cell then lifts up as Billy Gunn comes to the ring. Mankind goes nuts on Billy Gunn, who musters little offense. “Stick your fingers in his mouth”, yells a fan at ringside, presumably telling Mankind to apply his Mandible Claw. At least that’s what I hope he means. On the outside, Billy Gunn whips Mankind into (and over) the ring steps, then drops him on the guard rail.
Jim Ross discusses the First Blood match, where a wrestler must draw first blood. Lawler notes that he’s seen Austin bleed, to which Jim Ross quickly reiterates that you must draw first blood to win the match.
The two men go to the outside again, where Billy dropkicks the ring steps into Mankind’s face. He then hits a “Rocker Dropper”, but Mankind locks him in the Mandible Claw to win. The victor rushes to the back as soon as his Laura Palmer’s Theme-esque exit music plays. Mankind walks to Kane’s locker room, where his tag partner has gone missing.
Sable is back out with her two massive heels. Four inches, at least! She is here to interview Steve Austin. As in, on a microphone, with her speaking. Fortunately, Austin immediately takes the microphone away. He advises her to return to Vince McMahon and deliver a message, then instructs her how to give the finger. Oh, Steve, you’re so naughty!
Austin, who uses the b-word as a verb, says he’s bl*d before and he’s not afraid to do it again, but he won’t this Sunday. He also welcomes Kane’s promised post-match activities, saying he’ll bring marshmallows and hot dogs.
Kane’s pyro goes off after an obvious post-production cut, and the challenger comes on stage. Kane raises his arms and rains down blood on Stone Cold. “What is that?” asks Jim Ross. Well, it’s either real blood or fake blood, and unless Kane robbed a blood bank, I’d say it’s corn syrup and red dye. “Austin”, gurgles Kane. “This Sunday, the blood on you will be for real”.
The King of the Ring pay-per-view will feature that match, the Hell in a Cell match, the two semifinal matches (set up on tonight’s WWF Raw) and the finals, Too Much vs. Al Snow & Head (announced tonight), X-Pac vs. Owen Hart (hinted at tonight), and two other matches not even suggested: Kai En Tai vs. Taka Michinoku & The Headbangers, and The New Age Outlaws vs. The New Midnight Express.
Final tally:
6 “Draw first blood”s