WWF Raw – May 4th, 1998 – Richmond Coliseum – Richmond, VA
Tonight’s WWF Raw opens with clips from last week’s episode, set to the stock piece, “Adrenaline”. Vince McMahon assigned Gerald Brisco to referee (and screw) Steve Austin, but plans fell through when Vince accidentally hit Brisco with the belt.
Too much Tony, and not enough Stark! It’s time for WWF Raw. The Dude’s Love Shack theme plays, but through the curtain walks out not Dude Love, but Mick Foley. Holding the Dude Love costume in his hand, Foley complains that Vince McMahon gave his rightful title shot to Goldust, whom he calls a “panty-wearing pansy”. Now, Vince has put Foley in a no-holds-barred match with his best friend Terry Funk, but Foley refuses to suck up to Vince, dance with strippers, or wear the Dude Love gear again.
After being called out, Mr. McMahon walks through Dude’s beaded door. Foley then yells at the boss and tosses his Dude Love shirt at him. But McMahon says Foley didn’t get the job done at Unforgiven, and that when Goldust got a title shot, Foley whined about it. More specifically, McMahon uses the words, “bitch” and “kvetch”. Furthermore, Vince tries to convince Foley that his match tonight is an opportunity—if Foley can almost kill Funk, he’ll earn another title shot. After his pep talk, Vince slaps Foley.
Steve Austin arrives with a grappling hook in hand, causing Foley and McMahon to retreat down the aisle. Stone Cold first kicks the inflatable furniture off the stage, then uses the grappling hook to tear down the cardboard “bus”. Wearing jean shorts for perhaps the first time, Austin stomps on the set, then marches to the ring to flip off Vince. In the crowd, a fan waves the Maryland flag.
The Nation of the Domination is out in full force with their newest member, Owen Hart. The Maggie Lauten to the Nation’s Hillman College, Owen obviously stands out among the rest of the members, but nobody acknowledges it. Tonight, Owen teams with The Rock, who has granted him a co-leadership role. Commissioner Slaughter is quick to remove the non-competing members, including Kama, who is wearing a pimp hat.
Ken Shamrock’s allies, Faarooq and Steve Blackman, face off with the Nation leaders. Early in the match, Faarooq hits The Rock with the Dominator, but Owen Hart breaks up the pin. Soon, Steve Blackman is in the ring, working the leg of fellow Stampede veteran Owen Hart. Faarooq then continues the job using the ring post. When The Rock tags in, Faarooq piledrives him, sending Rocky flying into the air off the rebound, but again, Owen breaks up the pin. I guess there’s no unwritten “one save per match” rule yet.
Later, Rocky hits the People’s Elbow, which Cole dubs “a devastating maneuver”, but Faarooq kicks out of Rock’s one-footed pin. Eventually, Blackman tags in and cleans house, but with the referee distracted, Double J hangs him up on the top rope. Owen gets the pin after a spinning heel kick.
Vince McMahon narrates a video package in tribute to the injured Gerald Brisco, his career, his family, and his body shop. “Everything I own in this entire world,” says Brisco, “I owe to one man… Mr. Mac-Mahon”.
A vignette then airs of a troubled young man named Edge.
D-Generation X comes to the ring, accompanied by a Titantron video with all appearances of Shawn Michaels removed. Hunter does his Michael Buffer impression to loud cheers, though Jim Ross is still not a fan. “They like to have fun, D-Generation X,” says Michael Cole, “at anyone else’s expense”. Road Dogg addresses his and “Mr. A-Double-Crooked-Letter”’s competition; specifically, the DOA, although fans chant “LOD”.
Speaking of which, the LOD 2000 interrupt for an important message: D-X reminds Hawk of five dingleberries in an old man’s butt crack. Hawk also gives unflattering names to everyone in D-X, minus X-Pac, whom they ignore. The two teams then agree to change the scheduled DOA vs. Outlaws title match into an eight-man tag, with Animal specifically requesting X-Pac to be included in the deal. Did the Road Warriors ask DOA before issuing the challenge, and can D-X really just cancel their own title defenses like that?
A short WWF Attitude promo airs in which a traditional WWF logo drinks beer at a bar and burps. “Hey, it smells like attitude in here”, says a voiceover. So “attitude” is a synonym for…?
Last week, Paul Bearer screamed that at Unforgiven, it was his son who was lit on fire. Talk about a bombshell! But why did Paul dress his son like Kane in the first place? Paul Bearer will give an “exclusive” interview later tonight, implying he has turned down offers from ABC, The New York Times, and the like.
Dan Severn, no longer managed by Jim Cornette, faces Savio Vega in Dan’s most competitive match to date. Regardless, Severn wins in short order via submission after hitting a powerslam-turned-vertical suplex (actually the result of a video edit on this taped edition of WWF Raw).
As WWF Raw appears headed for a commercial, Jerry Lawler stands backstage with Paul Bearer. The cameraman then puts down his camera, but the feed fails to cut. Instead, viewers see and hear Paul and Jerry talk about knocking up The Undertaker’s mom as a young man. The two share off-color jokes about it before WWF Raw finally cuts to commercial.
When WWF Raw returns, Jerry Lawler, in a serious tone, apologizes for the locker room talk that accidentally aired.
Last week, Sable challenged Marc Mero to a match scheduled for next week’s WWF Raw in Baltimore. The upshot is that the WWF gets to show Sable squeezing her breasts together in the gym.
Marvelous Marc comes to the ring. Already in the ring, Tennessee Lee introduces Jeff Jarrett, who walks down a red carpet with custom pyro. Jim Ross has only positive things to say about Double J’s singing performance at Unforgiven, which he obviously lip-synced. Steve Blackman isn’t a fan, though, and beats up Jarrett before the rare heel vs. heel match could begin. “He is a lethal weapon!” says Ross.
The PlayStation Slam of the Week, featuring Tekken 3, is the Disciples of Apocalypse’s Twin Magic victory over the New Age Outlaws.
DOA, who Jerry Lawler criticizes for letting the LOD cancel their title shot, ride to the ring on their beautiful Titan motorcycles. With Lawler now on commentary, I guess that Paul Bearer interview isn’t happening anymore. Before D-X’s entrance, Mike Chioda kicks out Sunny, angering both the crowd and Jerry Lawler (who offers her a seat on his lap). He took “one of those Viagras today”, but it got caught in his throat so he has a stiff neck. This leads to more jokes about Paul Bearer and Taker’s mom.
When D-Generation X arrives, X-Pac is still in his t-shirt and warm-up gear. When Mike Chioda tries to kick out Chyna, X-Pac leaves instead; Chyna will wrestle in his place. The announcers don’t know what to expect from this, the WWF’s first-ever intergender match (they’ll have another one next week).
A few minutes into the match, Chyna tags in an gives Skull a huracanrana, then tags out to Road Dogg, drawing boos. Lawler is officially hot for Chyna, not only wanting her to wrestle, but to give him a head scissors.
The match returns from commercial, and some stuff happens, then Chyna tags in. After kicking Hawk, she climbs the turnbuckles but gets knocked off by Hawk. In retaliation, she punches him in the scrotum. D-X isolates Hawk until Billy Gunn whips him into the corner and accidentally knocks noggins; a similar spot will later give Stone Cold a concussion and ruin the Summerslam main event. One of the balds tags in, but the LOD and DOA end up fighting each other, leading to a no-contest.
During the commercial, the fight spills backstage.
Though WWF Raw is well into its second hour by now, the WarZone intro has not aired. So what show are we watching?
Jim Ross teases that a WWF Superstar got arrested in Atlanta today, or, at the very least, “surrounded by police”. To find out who, you’ll need to call the WWF Superstar Line.
Goldust comes to the ring to face Kane, who arrives with his hand and forearm bandaged—over his sleeve and glove. His wounds are so bad, he has actually bled through his leather glove. Jim Ross speculates that this match is punishment for Goldust failing to beat Stone Cold last week. Nobody mentions it, but this is Kane’s first-ever match on WWF Raw, so maybe Jim has a point. After a few minutes of fairly nondescript action, The Undertaker rushes to the ring and attacks Paul Bearer. He and Kane brawl up the ramp as officials struggle to separate them.
The Cinn-A-Burst WWF Rewind is Cactus Jack’s “retirement speech” from last month.
In the arena, a fan holds a Steve Austin poster—a must-have for any Stone Cold fan—over the balcony. He must have ordered the special edition of WrestleMania 14.
A lengthy video package airs detailing Mick Foley and Terry Funk’s rivalry and friendship, including footage from Japan and the phrase, “reckless abandon”.
Speaking of hardcore legends, Val Venis is here again, this time wearing a purple helmet on the set of his new film, “Val Venis: Soldier of Love”. Out of the bushes pops his co-star Jenna Jameson, who wants to “go back down in the hole”.
Steve Austin comes to ringside for commentary, commandeering a tray of beers along the way. It’s truly a red-letter day, as Stone Cold not only wears jorts for the first time, but drinks his first on-screen beer. Technically, it may also be his last, as he’d later just pour the stuff all over himself.
Terry Funk enters to Cactus Jack’s old theme, while Mick Foley of East Setauket, Long Island enters to no music at all. The referee? Pat Patterson. Funk gives Foley three unprotected chair shots to the head, splitting the back of his head open. In retaliation, Mick gives Funk a shot to the head of his own.
Steve Austin does a good job explaining why Foley is wrestling his own friend, but he is soon interrupted by “technical difficulties”. In fact, his voice is perfectly audible, minus some static and zapping sound effects played over top. Austin then grabs Lawler’s headset, which also malfunctions. Sensing a conspiracy, Austin lays out Lawler, who flees from ringside.
Mick Foley attempts a piledriver to the concrete, but Funk counters. The two men fight in the crowd as Austin stands on his chair for a better look. They take out a hot dog vendor before Funk hits kind of a moonsault on Foley (and the hot dog guy). Funk has hurt his neck, so Foley piledrives him through a table. The two then crawl under the bleachers as WWF Raw goes to commercial.
During the break, Foley attempts to pin Funk on the concrete floor. When WWF Raw returns, Mick brings Terry back to ringside, winding up on the announce table, where Foley crashes onto Funk with a chair. Foley argues with Steve Austin, who, being miked up, is the only one who gets his point across to the TV audience. Finally, Foley piledrives Funk onto a chair and wins the falls-count-anywhere match in the center of the ring.
“That is impressive!” says Stone Cold, who eggs Mick on as he slams Funk’s head into the chair post-match. But Steve then comes into the ring and splashes beer in Mick’s face; blinded, Foley puts the Mandible Claw on Pat Patterson by mistake. The two opponents at Over the Edge get in each other’s faces; Patterson tries to sneak up from behind with a chair, but Austin stuns him.
Austin’s theme plays over the PA until it’s cut off by Dude Love’s music. It’s Vince McMahon, who, along with the Dudettes, congratulate Foley on a job well done. While McMahon shakes that groove thang, Jim Ross wonders if he thinks he’s Dick Clark or something (That don’t impress him much). The quartet boogies off stage.