WWF Raw – February 16th/21st, 1998 – Reunion Arena – Dallas, TX
Too much butts and not enough time! It’s time for WWF Raw is War! Or WWF Raw Saturday Night, thanks to the Westminster Kennel Club dog show pre-empting it on the USA network. In years past, WWF Raw wouldn’t air at all during dog show week, so this is progress. Notably, the WWF is still in Texas six days after No Way Out of Texas (so it’s not just a clever name).
The announcers claim D-X is threatening a lawsuit against Steve Austin, who last night, if you can believe it, beat up a woman. Stone Cold will be here to comment later tonight.
The Legion of Doom face the Quebecers, a team who last Sunday played the babyfaces in a match against the Godwinns that had no chance of success. Jacques, or “Jock” as Michael Cole keeps calling him, knocks down Hawk with a dropkick, then showboats with two kip-ups before getting clotheslined. Both men tag out, putting Animal in the ring with Pierre Carl Ouellet, as Cole identifies him. Jim Ross then praises “Oo-lette” for a shoulder block and Animal for a powerslam.
“Some critics want to write off the Legion of Doom”, complains Kevin Kelly. “I certainly don’t see anything in either Hawk or Animal that tells me that they cannot compete in 1998”. Just a minute ago Kelly speculated that “in 1998 time is catching up with the LOD.”
The New Age Outlaws roll a dumpster down to the ring and slam Hawk into the side of it with a loud thud, which, Jim Ross explains, the referee didn’t notice. The Outlaws dump Hawk into the receptacle and sit on the lid as the incurious Mike Chioda doesn’t question why one Road Warrior has disappeared. When Animal finds his partner missing from the corner, he grabs a chair and chases off the Outlaws. Mike Chioda sees Hawk pop out of the trash can and chase, with Animal, the New Age Outlaws, he ends the match, awarding the win to… the Quebecers, by countout.
In discussing the D-X lawsuit for emotional damages to Chyna, the announcers introduce a video package of Chyna’s career so far, including four consecutive replays of her punching Jim Neidhart in the groin. “Chyna downstairs!” says Jim Ross each time, inspiring WWF Attitude’s name for the move. Narrator Michael Cole thinks something is fishy about Chyna, after so much physicality, now suing for “emotional distress”.
Ken Shamrock, who challenges The Rock again for the IC title at WrestleMania, faces the Truth Commission’s Sniper (That’s the non-giant French Canadian). Thanks to Recon’s interference, Sniper doesn’t immediately lose to Shamrock. Meanwhile, Jackyl is on commentary talking about his Jackylites who “submit to intellectual intercourse”. Isn’t that what got him investigated in Impact? Ken Shamrock eventually makes a comeback and makes Sniper tap out. After the match, Jackyl slaps Sniper, who shoves him and walks out.
On the WWF Superstar Line, you can learn about the D-X lawsuit, injuries, and WrestleMania celebrities. I’ll save you the $1.49/minute: kayfabe, Shawn has one more match left, and Gennifer Flowers, respectively. Up next, Jerry Lawler will interview both Marc Mero and Sable, who last night “had her fill” of Mero. Hey-o!
Backstage, the Truth Commission argue about the Jackyl.
Sable and Marc Mero, whom Jerry Lawler calls “without a doubt” the WWF’s most popular couple ever. That’s like when The Rock starred in a Fast & the Furious movie and The Miz starred in Marine movie, so WWE said the two of them had just grossed a combined billion dollars.
King asks them whether they will split up, so Marc says the trouble started when he got injured and had to sit at home while Sable was on WWF Raw. No, this doesn’t have to do with her alleged affair with Ken Shamrock, but instead her t-shirt modeling. Mero says Sable just wants attention, blaming it on what she’s wearing. But now Sable knows her place, says Mero. Also, when she pushed him over at No Way Out, Marc just tripped.
A messenger interrupts the interview to deliver Sable a bouquet of flowers from her secret admirer, then walks off with it when Mero objects.
In a pre-taped rant, Jim Cornette complains about the fickle fans who were all behind him when he promised to bring back tradition, then booed when it was exactly the same as all the other matches on WWF Raw but with wrestlers no one cares about. Cornette says he’s going to tell the fans what they’re going to like. Amazingly, he didn’t book WWE from 2002 to 2022. Cornette also warns that this time around, the NWA is going beat the WWF.
The Rock ’n’ Roll Express, coming to the ring with the Rockers’ theme, defend their NWA tag titles against the Headbangers. Tommy Young is the referee. The Headbangers isolate Bob Newhart in the opening minute, but thanks to a Cornette distraction, Ricky Morton tags in, lays in some offense, and tags out. The Headbangers come back to do the Stage Dive on Morton; Thrasher pins Ricky while Mosh cuts off Robert and throws him over the tope rope. That’s a no-no in the NWA, so the Rock ’n’ Roll Express retain by disqualification.
And that’s it for WWF Raw Saturday Night. But before the WarZone (Saturday Night), we see the WrestleMania Millennium Moment, presented by M&Ms. It’s Andre choking Bob Uecker.
“We’re All Together Now” ushers in WWF Raw’s second hour, where Stone Cold enters the ring for an interview sporting a truly stone cold fanny pack. Asked why he stunned Chyna, he says not to mess with Stone Cold. As for Austin-Michaels-Tyson, “the s**t’s on”.
Jim Ross hypes up a “major sports celebrity” for WrestleMania who will be announced next Monday night on WWF Raw. It’s Pete Rose.
Next, Jeff Jarrett challenges for Owen Hart’s European title; if Owen wins he’ll defend against Triple H at Mania. Before the match, Earl Hebner ejects all the non-manager NWA members, which still allows Jim Cornette to stick around and cheat. Eventually, Owen has enough and chases his former manager into the ring, but Jarrett intervenes and DDTs the champ. Owen gets his revenge by splitting Jeff’s uprights on the ring post just as the referee turns his back. When Owen puts on the Sharpshooter, Corny tries to intervene with his tennis racket, drawing a disqualification. Now it’s Jim’s turn to get the Sharpshooter and Jeff’s turn to unsuccessfully use a tennis racket before the NWA contingent retreat.
This week’s Playstation Slam of the Week Featuring Bloody Roar is a set of clips from No Way Out’s Light Heavyweight Title match. That’s a lot of capital letters.
Michael Cole narrates a video package for Dok “Michael ‘PS’ Hayes” Hendrix, a legend in the Dallas area. Mixed in with World Class clips is footage from the Freebirds’ only televised WWF match.
Hendrix is here as a guest ring announcer, but he’s interrupted when the lights go out for Kane’s entrance. Dok hits Kane with his boot and gets chokeslammed and Tombstoned for it. “The Freebird is grounded!” says Paul Bearer. The Dallas fans, outraged at paying to see someone beat up Michael Hayes, boo the heel duo.
Out next is Sunny, who hopefully has better luck as a ring announcer than Dok Hendrix. One man in overalls (not Phineas Godwinn) jumps for joy. It’s a tag team match pitting Pirata Morgan and Brian Christopher (who brags to the camera about getting him a Mexican) against Taka Michinoku and Águila. Meanwhile on commentary, Jerry Lawler is jealous that the girl has eyes for his son and not him — it’s the same old story since about 1980.
Pirata Morgan, previously seen only in mini form, starts off the match with his countryman, the future Essa Ríos. Morgan is the second man on this show, after Pierre, to wear an eyepatch in the ring. Águila wows the crowd with a diving huracanrana and corkscrew plancha before both men tag out. After Jim Ross presses Jerry on the paternity issue, King somehow uses Ross’s daughters as an excuse to mention Monica Lewinsky. Michinoku beats Morgan with his Driver.
The Rock comes down with the rest of the Nation of Domination for an appreciation ceremony. Maivia presents gifts to D’Lo, Mark Henry, and the Godfather: gold Rolexes valued at $15,000 each. But The Rock has an even greater gift for Faarooq, whom he acknowledges as the undisputed leader of the Nation. He hands Faarooq a large portrait-shaped gift that the announcers speculate could be rare art, such as a Renoir. Close: it’s a photo of The Rock holding the Intercontinental title. The ungrateful Nation leader throws down his gift, busting its frame.
Steve Blackman arrives to wrestle Faarooq while The Rock admires his photo at ringside. A minute into the match, Faarooq hits the Dominator on Blackman and appears to have the match won until he grabs The Rock’s picture. The Nation leader is about to hit Blackman with the glossy piece of cardboard, but The Rock pulls it out of his hands. Blackman rolls up the Black man with a schoolboy to win the match.
Post-match, the Nation gather in the ring, where The Rock is upset about his photo getting bent. He once again offers it to Faarooq, who accepts and gives it to Mark Henry to hold up. Faarooq then punches and stomps it, leading he and The Rock to nearly come to blows. Faarooq leads the other Nation Members up the ramp, leaving The Rock to piece together the remnants of his portrait.
Backstage after the commercial, Michael Cole stands outside The Nation’s locker room, where a loud argument can be heard. D’Lo Brown stumbles out the door and insists everything is fine.
It’s now main event time, pitting Mero & The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust against Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie. Accompanied by Luna, The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust is currently dressed as Goldust. According to Jerry Lawler, Goldust has promised to “present the American Dream”, meaning Dusty Rhodes, this Monday on WWF Raw. Does the WWF really think it’s a good idea to dress Goldust up as a Black guy again? When Jim Ross presses Lawler for more info, King says that’s all he knows, then alludes to Mean Gene in saying he won’t make you dial a hotline. I should note that Lawler wasn’t around during the first hour when Jim Ross was teasing scoops on the WWF Superstar Line.
Next, the other three competitors arrive, but not Sable. Goldust starts the match with Chainsaw, kissing Funk through his panty hose. Funk punches out Goldust, who tags out to Mero. Chainsaw and Cactus then try some chain wrestling before Funk and Dust end up in the ring together again.
The crowd pops when Sable walks through the curtain, but trouble follows when Luna steals her flowers and destroys them. Mero has to separate the two ladies in low-cut outfits as Jim Ross warns, “The lid could blow off any moment!” With the referee distracted, Cactus hits Goldust in the head with a chair, allowing Charlie to get the pin. Luna and Sable then have a pull-apart catfight as Jerry Lawler, implying he’s just seen nipples, begs in vain for WWF Raw to stay on the air just a little longer.