 |
 |
 |
  |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
It's the WrestleCrap GARAGE SALE!
Here we are to week three of the first annual WrestleCrap Garage Sale, what was planned to be the final week of the shenanigans. We're having so much fun with this stupidity that we've decided to do ONE MORE WEEK, on our next update, July 11.
And you won't want to miss it because the biggest piece of WrestleCrap memorabilia, both literally and figuratively, ever will be up for grabs!
This week, though, we have some doozies, such as your chance to have your very own segment on WrestleCrap Radio! Plus all kinds of other goodies, including stuff so horrible even our garbage man won't take it away. But you can, and the bidding starts at just 99 cents.
How do you bid, you ask? Just click on our ugly pictures, and off you go to eBayland.
So what's up for bids?
Blade Braxton's VERY OWN COPY of The Young and the Wrestling
Blade Braxton: "Mercy mama!!!! Here's a rare treat for the WrestleCrap fans. An original VHS copy of the WrestleCrap cult favorite porn movie starring "The Wildman" Randy West... The Young And The Wrestling. You may ask, "Why are you selling this all-time classic, Blade?" Well, here's why. When I ordered the sequel, the brain surgeons at Excalibur entertainment sent me a vhs copy of the original movie, with the label of Young And The Wrestling Part 2 on it. Their mistake and my loss of money is your gain, as you now have a chance to win my extra copy of the first, and best, Young And The Wrestling. Video comes in a generic Excalibur Films box. Mercy daddy!!! Oh Penelope!!!!"
A BUNCH OF HORRIBLE WRESTLECRAP COMICS
RD: "Over the years, I've inducted many horrible comic books into the land of WrestleCrap. Now it's your chance to take ownership of these wastes of pulp that have been occupying space at the bottom of my closet the past 3 years! And hey, why not have some FREE WWF trading cards from 1985 or so too? Not only do you get two WWF comic books featuring the likes of the Big Bossman, Undertaker, and Ted DiBiase, but four, count 'em, FOUR Kevin Nash comics! One has a picture of his face. I bet with some string and Scotch tape you could make a mask out of it. See, I did!"
RD: "Poor Ken Patera. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Back in the mid 80's, the dude was out looking to get some grub after a grueling match. Sadly, the McDonald's he wanted to eat at was closed for the night. Instead thinking out of the box and, well, GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE, he proceeded to throw a boulder through their window and found himself in the big house. In the world of wrestling, this made him a good guy. Don't ask me, just buy the stupid tape. If you do, I'll give you a free FIT FINLAY INFLATABLE SHELEIGHLE! Or however you spell it. You know what it is. Be warned, however, that the thing doesn't seem to hold air. What do you expect? It's another fine product from WWE SHOPZONE!"
BLADE BRAXTON CAT IN THE HAT GUMMIES!
Blade: "Here's a rare collectible from one of the worst movies ever, Dr. Seuss' The Cat In The Hat, which came out in 2003. As WrestleCrap Radio listeners may recall, in 2007, Blade Braxton found this box of Cat In The Hat gummies at Big Lots. Outdated by four years by the time Blade purchased them, at that point, the once colorful Cat In The Hat candy had turned a crappy looking shade of brown, resembling cat poo. Cat In The Hat candy cat droppings...license to print money!!! They are no longer meant to be eaten, just enjoyed as a rare, mint in the box collectible from a horrible movie."
RD: "Blade may be selling off some old Cat in the Hat stuff that looks like feline droppings, but I've got something even worse: a WWE Crunch Time Popcorn kit! Comes complete with plastic popcorn container, WWE drinking glass, and horribly out of date popcorn that only the foolish of mortals would dare to eat. So no, we don't advise you actually buying it and eating it. Well, we do advise you buying it, because I don't want it on my shelf anymore. But we take no responsibility if you are so stupid as to eat five year old popcorn."
YOUR OWN SEGMENT ON WRESTLECRAP RADIO!
RD: "Think WrestleCrap Radio sucks? Well, join the crowd. No wait. I meant, "Then try to do better yourself! And pay us to do so!" That's right, now you can be the envy of all twelve listeners of this fine radio progrem by having your own once in a lifetime segment on the show! That's right - it's a 15-minute guest spot on WrestleCrap Radio! And you choose what you get to talk about, be it wrestling, how much RD is a geek, how much Blade is a hobo, or we can just spend 15 minutes talking about pedophile looking cereal mascots. Anything and everything, you make the call! Want to talk to RD and Blade? Go for it! Want us to bring back Johnny 6 so you can kill him? Say the word! Want to do the Haiku? It's yours! By winning this auction, not only do you fill our pockets with copious amounts of money, but you may even improve the show. We all win! Well, we really just win and you lose money and have to pay us."
And that's it for this week. But come back next week, as we'll unload the biggest piece of Crap ever!
Remember, kids - no matter how stupid this week's item may have been, no matter how much of a fool you feel like for perhaps owning what we've written about above, you'll never be as much of a loser as RD and Blade are. After all, they shelled out $200 for this.
