Someone Bought This: Want to attract the ladies? Splash some Venom on!

3 Submitted by on Fri, 23 March 2018, 02:00

Stone Cold Steve Austin Austin 3:16 Venom Cologne

It’s Stone Cold Steve Austin “Austin 3:16 Venom” cologne!

First of all, let’s look at the definition of “Venom” thanks to our friends at Merriam-Webster:

Venom
noun ven·om \ˈve-nəm\
1. poison that is produced by an animal (such as a snake) and used to kill or injure another animal usually through biting or stinging

2. a very strong feeling of anger or hatred

So it either means something that comes from a snake that can make you very sick or kill you, or a strong feeling of anger or hatred.

“I smell like anger!” sounds like something Ralph Wiggum would say.

Yeah, that really says “This will attract women” to me!

This is another situation where I don’t know who in the world is supposed to buy this.

12 year olds have no need for cologne.

Adults who use cologne are already using Old Spice or Brute colognes and aren’t going to buy this.

I don’t even think collectors of wrestling merchandise would buy this to put the bottle on display.

So it’s a cologne that absolutely nobody wants or needs.

Plus, I imagine it doesn’t exactly have a scent that draws the ladies in…

Sounds like pure WrestleCrap to me!

I’m picturing WrestleCrap Radio’s own lovable loser Nathaniel dousing himself in this stuff hoping to pick up a date for his Senior Prom.

Nathaniel Senior Prom

Atta boy! Keep reaching for the stars, Nathaniel!

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3 Responses to "Someone Bought This: Want to attract the ladies? Splash some Venom on!"
  1. RSingh says:

    12-year-old boys will buy anything if they think it’s an aphrodisiac. Exhibit A: Axe hair products.

  2. Sean Bateman says:

    All is missing is Steve Austin condoms!

  3. John C says:

    When I have an itch that needs to be scratched, I go for Sex Panther.

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