Alright, listen up all you sticky-fingered 2nd Graders at Baer Creek Elementary in Claypool, Indiana.
This is The Big Bossman here, and I got a special message for all of you!
This here lunch belongs to Timmy.
It says so right on this paper bag which just so happens to be decorated with my likeness (How do you like my shades? Ain’t they cool?).
If any of you snotty-nosed little monsters even THINK about stealing Timmy’s lunch, you will have to answer to The Big Bossman and his mighty nightstick of justice!
I have even signed my name on this very bag to show how serious I am about protecting the lunches of today’s youth.
You hear me?
Are we clear?
That is all.
P.S- Has anyone seen my little Chihuahua lately?