Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!
1.Vince and Stephanie program themselves in opening Raw segment, ‘surprised’ when rating bombs (NR)
Up against an NBA Game 7, the McMahons figured the fans would stick around due to their sheer presence. The first hour set the tone for a 2.6 evening.
2. Curtis Axel’s push consists of fluke victories (2)
At least Jericho let the poor guy pin him on Smackdown. Feuding with Trips is like diving into a snake pit: it ain’t gonna end well for you.
3. WWE App overpushed (3)
The show never ends during commercial, you know. You can watch the entrances for meaningless midcard matches if you download the magical app.
4. Jesse Ventura announces frivolous run for 2016 Presidency (NR)
Another attention grab for an increasingly senile “Body”. At least at debates, he could make his Dusty Rhodes fat jokes about Chris Christie.
5. WWE continues to bait and switch promised matches on Main Event (NR)
Chalk this one up to paranoid Vince switching things at the last minute. Pretty sad state of affairs when the ‘wrestling’ show is coming under fire now.
6. Sheamus as a babyface (15)
“Boy, I hope Sheamus gets revenge on Sandow for the way Sandow attacked Sheamus after Sheamus destroyed his computer!” – nobody rational.
7. Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E Langston: every single show (NR)
This one’s irksome because it’s clear WWE has zero back-up plan for when someone (Ziggler) gets hurt. Ahh, the wonders of pushing other people.
8. TNA doesn’t pay Zema Ion’s medical bills (7)
Still no word on whether or not TNA’s coughing up the cash. But given that a few guys got released last week, it’s seeming a little doubtful.
9. Miz as a babyface (9)
And he has tied the Undertaker’s streak! I kinda hope he never turns heel for our sake, but his sake, well, yeah, he’d probably be booked more competently.
10. Triple H sustains lingering head injury (13)
It’s because of this storyline that Hunter, Vince, and Stephanie are heavily involved. Three people who drove fans away TEN YEARS AGO.
11. The Usos now wear facepaint because ‘it gives them an edge’ (NR)
And what edge would that be? The one where they miss several TV shows afterward? Either the writers forget em, or the paint acts as camouflage.
12. AJ Styles’ hairstyle (5)
“The Phenomenal Bieber”? It’s kind of hard to take the brooding, angry-at-the-world daredevil seriously when he looks like “Honey, I Shrunk Billy Jack Haynes.”
13. WWE Total Divas is coming to E! (NR)
You have to hate any show where they bring in two outside “Divas” who will likely be trainwrecks when they’re on TV. But that’s WWE for ya.
14. TNA releases Douglas Williams (NR)
Perhaps it was for the best, given his lack of airtime. Of course, he could always go back to ROH and ply his gifted athletics there once more.
15. Tony Dawson (12)
The week concludes with NXT’s lead announcer getting his unusual moment of infamy. He’s hated for the reason people hate Cole: he took Jim Ross’s job.
Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)